Rewrite Your Happiness (A Ryan Ross Fanfiction)

Strike Up The Band

Ryan hadn't talked to me since I flushed his pills and left him to recover the pioneer way. I guess it was a step in the right direction...but for me, it was the hottest of summers and it felt ever so lonely with only Brendon as company. Thinking of starting college in the fall felt like a major setback just because talking about going to college together with Ryan was completely turned on it's head. He hadn't even come to the apartment to escape his dad in a while, he didn't talk on MySpace, and he didn't respond to many calls. It reminded me of his spells of being AWOL in the present day, post or comment on one thing and hibernate from the public eye the rest of the time.

I was beginning to worry he was breaking ties with me entirely with how much I heard or saw of him after he missed my graduation. That is, if Brendon never said Ryan missed me every now and then, it would have been more painful. It was good to know he still cared despite ignoring me completely. It was a...weird means of recouping. But it was apparently improving his overall appearance. Just as promised, Brendon still kept in touch with our troubled friend, but I think Ryan was too busy being embarrassed and confused to know I was feeling just as sorry about telling him to wait. Indeed, the wait was long.

So long in fact that, during that time, I caught the flu and a lingering fever for almost a week and a half in July. It was miserably unbearable. My head was always drenched in sweat, my legs would shake when I tried to stand, and my stomach was filled with nothing but trigger happy bile that erupted with every movement. I was a mess. And all Brendon could do was comfort me if I overheated, fan me with my Geisha fan decoration, and get me free Gatorades from work. The only difference was when he gave me a "get well" card out of the mail with the "Ross Residents" written above the return address. The card had a vampire giving their "blood supply" to a patient. I appreciated it for what it was. I considered sending a thank you letter, but I was too ill to write, let alone sit up. So, he had to fair with Brendon saying "thank you" for me. Nonetheless, it was the only direct contact either of us made during that time of healing...

While this sickness was happening, I woke up one night and couldn't fall back asleep to escape the pain bubbling in my body. To calm myself down, I started to confide in a memory long forgotten and buried in the back of my mind.

It was the time my brother told me a continuous tale of an unloved dragon in the mountains that never smiled. Finding comfort in such a sad story surprised even myself, until I remembered how the tale ended. The dragon eventually befriended a human girl that made him smile...so he killed himself right before the girl's eyes. Yes, that was the only sentimental time I remembered spending with Lyle and he goes and ends the story like that.

I asked him once why it ended in such an unfair and stupid way. He responded with, "That's because life isn't always fair." Sitting in silence, I constantly started relating with the human girl. I was making a dragon smile, only to make him hurt for feeling happy. Feeling like a failure for doing something. But I refused to let this reality be so cruel to this dragon. Taking the quick way out wasn't an opinion, so he'd have to make a change and fight. At that point, I realized I was pretty delirious and tried to fall back to sleep. I just had to wait for a sign as soon as the sickness subsided...

One day in early August, two weeks before the first college semester would start, I was finally up and about again. I was writing down my experience thus far in a journal; living in another timeline, my sickness, my friends, missing family, and all that junk. I was writing about what I was wearing for the day (which was my purple white elephant gift shirt,) when Brendon came back to the house prancing around happily. "We got a fuckin' gig!" He proclaimed. I put down the book I was reading and ecstatically clasped a hand over my mouth. It finally happened.

"Oh my gosh, Brendon, that's fucking awesome! How'd about did this become? I mean, who guys you booked? I mean...FUCK, this is so exciting!!" I yelled giving him a big hug. Brendon laughed at my surprise of jumbled words. "Turns out that DJ we gave our song to at prom was really impressed with Lying. He checked out our other demos we put out last year, and recommended us to a small club not too far a walk from here. They want us to perform a gig on Saturday night. You can be a part of our set if you want."