Please Don't Tell

Spring Break

Chapter Seven

Spring break was over in one day, I was surprised that it was already one week after my birthday. Seven days ago two things happened; I turned sixteen and a woman, both life altering but I got through it. With my best friend Dell and having the people I loved around me. Brent and I had talked a lot over the break and he had apologized for leaving my birthday so suddenly and not coming back, so then I knew for sure I hadn’t had sex with Brent even though I knew it hadn’t been him. I still remember the next day when Brent had come over, Dell had already left;

“You aren’t still mad at me right?” he asked in his little boy voice, my heart melted at the sincerity of it. I felt so bad for cheating on him even if I was outta my mind drunk.

            “I was never mad at you, more like at me… stupid birthday! It was mad to have some guy die on my birthday I should’ve went with you!” I said reaching out for him, we embraced and I felt the warmth of it. The guilt washed over me but I liked how I could pretend everything was okay, I was sorry and he was too.

            “Good I didn’t like the feeling that you hated me!” His eyes sparkled and I felt my legs go to goo like they usually did when he gave me that look.

            “Brent I could never hate you, I don’t think anyone could. You’re too good.” The words slipped out with more meaning than I could handle.

            “I feel like I could do more actually, speaking of… I know your birthday just got over and all but I was wanting to go over to L.A and help them with the crime talk to some shelters and kids centers… you could come with me if you wanted.” He left it at that but I saw that he really didn’t want me there, Brent meant well but he liked to work and help people.

            “I have my cousins coming over later and Canby wanted to go get a pedicure with me, I’m really sorry Brent, maybe next time?” He perked up and grabbed my hand, I led him to my bedroom but like the gentleman he was, nothing happened, at least sexual.

            “Does it bother you that I want to wait to have sex?” Brent asked me as I read a magazine on his chest, at the mention of sex my heart sped up.

            “It used to.” I dodged the question and flipped the next page.

            “What about now?” I grit my teeth, Brent was smart he would know if I was lying, darn those Psychology electives!

            “Not really.” And it was true, it had bothered me and right now I was… quenched… the thirst was quenched but the thing about water is you’ll always want more.

            “Good because I wouldn’t want to take a chance and be on one of those reality teen parents shows and drop out of high school!” my heart plummeted, that’s why? How had I been so stupid? Oh course it was that reason! Not because he was repulsed by me and him having sex or because he was a prude or any other stupid reason my mind could conjure up.

            “Really? I thought it was because you… never mind.”

            “No tell me, I wanna know.”

            “It’s stupid.”

            “Not if you thought it.” He took my chin in his hand gently and kissed me passionately on the lips. It was sweet and pure, the kind people only dream about, but… it wasn’t right. I pulled away with a smile, the guilt was too much.