a beautiful accident (a dan howell/phil lester story)

three - i was never gone

Hi!

This story is now available on Archive of our Own! 

https://archiveofourown.org/works/16043111/chapters/37451213

Enjoy chapter 3!

"So when should I move in?" Phil asks quietly, Rosalie asleep on his bare chest. Dan recommended the two get Kangaroo time, which is skin-to-skin contact so the baby can get used to the parents scent. 

"Whenever you want. The room is big enough to fit another dresser and your computer setup." Dan replies, standing in front of the stove as he's making lunch for the two.

"Are you available this weekend?" 

"I'm working, but my mom has a key and I'm sure my dad can help you," Dan says, stirring the pot of tomato soup as the grilled cheese cook in the toasteroven.

"You have a job?" Phil asks, almost fondly

"Yeah, I work at Betty's Coffee Shop in town. Got hired there a few weeks before Rosalie was born. Betty had to force me to take maternity leave, because I wanted to come back and work a week after I gave birth. I needed the hours and the money," Dan explains

Dan can hear Phil sigh heavily, before he hears Phil's heavy footsteps go into the kitchen. Dan turns around, smiling fondly at his daughter, who's asleep and drooling all over Phil's chest, "She's drooling on you," Dan points out 

Phil shrugs, "Better get used to baby fluids on me," 

"Also true, she likes to throw up," 

"Dan, you knew you could've always asked me for money or help. I would have been there." Phil speaks, his voice waivering

Dan stops for a second, staring in the pot of red liquid, "I didn't want to burden you. Raising a baby is really bloody expensive. That crib itself was over 2000." Dan says, exasperated 

"I could've afforded that, you know I have the money." Phil counters, "And stop calling yourself a burden. It's my fault you even got pregnant, so if anything, I was the burden,"

Dan turns around with a start, glaring, "Did you just say having her was a burden?" 

"No Dan, that's not what I was saying. I was saying it's my responsibility to take care of the baby I made," Phil sighs

"She was my responsibility too, I was the one who knew I was a carrier and didn't realize we weren't using protection," Dan groans

"She could've been my responsibility, too, had you let me," Phil mumbles

"Are you going to hold that over my head forever?" Dan almost yells, but remembers his sleeping daughter is in the room. 

Dan can feel the heat of Phil's eyes burning in his back, and he turns around after turning the stovetop off, so the soup doesn't burn. Phil is looking at Dan sadly, almost regretful of what he just said to Dan.

"No Dan, I'm not. I'm sorry, that was petty of me." Phil apologizes

Dan shakes his head, "Don't, you have the right to be mad at me. I just hope it doesn't last forever," Dan drifts off 

"It won't, I promise. She's only two months old, I haven't missed a whole bunch. I'll still be there for her first words and get to see her walk for the first time," Phil says dreamily, his eyes resting on the top of Rosalie's head. He plants a kiss there, and Dan can't help but feel tears well up in his eyes. 

Dan really could've made Phil miss all of that had his mother not told Phil where he was. And Dan felt terrible, because he can literally see the love Phil feels for their daughter in the room, and he suddenly breaks down into tears.