Journal

August 2nd

(2014)

Loving me, myself, and I.

.

   There are only so many things I'd want to change about myself. But it's improving which I need to learn. And I am, slowly of course. I have cut my hair, which is a huge step. Cutting hair? How does that help? You may ask.. But it did. I feel relieved with myself. Like if all that hair held so many memories of me, memories that I should let go. Memories of my ex, of my freshman year, of my stupidity, and of my un-cautious self. It's a way for me to almost... Start new. Mostly when I'm going to a new school. Of course I'll miss my old friends, especially Viviana. God, I want to cry now... I'm so happy for having her in my life. I do wish we would've gotten closer in 6th grade, instead of 9th, when I'm going to a new school and she's going to Arkansas. And Ides, she's my closest friend. I can be my real self with her. Will, most of it. A part of me, she has only seen a few times. Anyways, I think that they were there to help me improve and find myself. I do wish Lanie was still with me... She had moved sometime ago. I wish I could've been there more for her... I'm a selfish bastard sometimes.

You hear this a lot, and I use to get annoyed too but...

Find a way to love yourself. You are unique. You are beautiful. You may not see it now, but you will someday. Maybe it will be that guy you never really payed attention to, but he may be your light. Try exploring who you are. Look at yourself in the mirror. Don't beat yourself up, trust me I've done it before. It always ends the same. I end up crying and feeling even worse. Not going to lie, sometimes we need that... But that's something else. Look in the mirror and see all the good things about yourself. My eyes are my favorite thing about my body. Maybe you too. Eyes are beautiful, you know. Look for something that you have, but your friends don't. Maybe you have big breats(me), a big booty, beautiful hands(weird, but true), nice legs, awesome stomach, beautiful hair, maybe even a birthmark, ect.I have a Marilyn Monroe, and honestly at first I was like, "Hell, how's this beautiful?" But with time I saw the beauty. But yeah, finding this... Unique body part doesn't mean to show it off, you can of course, but I'm saying, you have something that others don't. It should boost your confidence, even by a little.

Look for your beauty.