AT LAST, I COULD BREATHE | billy hargrove

head in the sky.

chapter song: LSD - A$AP Rocky

head in the sky.

As the weeks went on, it became easier and easier to not give a fuck about what people thought about me. Hawkins wouldn't ever be a place where I strived to look or be my best. In fact, I'm sure this place will only hold one very small place in my heart because I'm only graduating high school here.

Speaking of graduating, I couldn't wait for college. Even though my brother, Shawn, is in the military, he went to West Point for college and had the time of his life. Shawn is also my supplier for alcohol and weed—not to my mother's knowledge, though. We were the perfect children. Shawn still lives with us when he isn't off in another foreign country, and yeah, he's the biggest pain in my ass, but he's still my brother and I love him so it's nice to have him here. Sometimes, of course.

This was just not one of those times.

"BO!" I heard him yell as he bounded up the stairs. Shawn burst into my room with an angry expression on his face, almost fuming, while I continued to do my calculus homework.

"Yes, brother dearest?"

"Don't gimme that shit, where's my weed?"

"Your weed? I don't fucking know?! You should keep it down or Mum's gonna hear, you asshole!" I whisper-yelled.

"I know you took it!" He whisper-yelled back.

"Oh, really? How? What's your proof?"

"Listen, I know you wanna be a lawyer and all that shit but only you know where I hide it so cough it up," he said with a roll of his eyes.

"I don't know what you're not hearing, Shawn. I didn't take your fucking weed. It was probably that girl you were bangin' the other night. Didn't you guys smoke before?" I replied absentmindedly, looking back at my work. I couldn't see it, but I knew his mouth dropped open into an 'o'-shape.

"You heard that?"

"Kansas heard it, Shawn. And I don't mean the state, I mean the band. Back in Los Angeles. They heard it."

He sighed and blushed a bit, ashamed of himself. "I don't really care," I continued, "I left the house after I realized it wasn't just in my head."

"Okay, that's a little better. But so uncomfortable, wow, I'm gonna leave now."

"Is she a keeper?" I asked as he went to leave.

"Huh?"

"The girl you were with. Is she a keeper-slash-possible-girlfriend?"

"I didn't really like her so nah."

"Attaboy."

"I literally hate you so much—" He cut himself off by closing the door. Imagine losing an argument, can't relate.

"Wait a fuckin' second," Shawn marched back in.

"Jesus Christ, what do you want from me?" I said dryly.

"You support my decision to drop this girl?" His eyebrows were furrowed.

"If you don't like her then yeah."

"So you don't have a problem with the hit-and-run situation I'm in?"

"Do you expect me to?"

"Well, you're a girl," I gave him a 'no-shit' look. "Girls tend to take this stuff to heart."

"Ight, I feel that. But if you don't like her, don't lead her on, Shawn."

"Have you...y'know...?"