AT LAST, I COULD BREATHE | billy hargrove

best of both worlds.

chapter song: Bad At Love - Halsey

best of both worlds.

Wait, so you're telling me you fucked me last night?" I asked my boyfriend who was naked next to me in my bed. Honest to God, I had no recollection of anything past ripping Tommy Hagan a new one.

John nodded innocently, appearing slightly confused. "Why, what's got your panties in a twist?"

"John!!" I exclaimed. "I don't remember it!!"

He scoffed and looked at me like I was lying. "You weren't that drunk, Bo. You were able to make decisions and you didn't say no or anything."

"Uh, yeah, John, that's what happens when you're drunk. But it wasn't obvious I was blackout drunk?" He shook his head no. "Then you're a fucking idiot, I guess because I can't remember a single thing after meeting back up with you towards what I assume to be the end of the party outside with the team." I ran my hands over my face to try and make sense of all of this.

"Bo, it's not like we haven't had drunk sex before—I'm confused why you're acting like a bitch about it this time."

"Because I can't fucking remember, that's why!!" I yelled exasperatedly.

"What? We've done that before, why is this time different?"

I didn't answer at first.

"Seriously, Bo, what's your problem? Everything's been off with you lately. You told me before the party in the car that we could fuck after the party and so that's what we did. Why are you mad about this, I don't fucking get it??"

"I don't remember having sex with you, John, and that fucking bothers me, okay?!"

John had the dumbest look on his face like he couldn't even believe what I was saying. How did he not know what I mean? How did he not know why I had a problem with this?

"Is this all because of that Billy kid?" John accused quickly.

I was taken by surprise, but my eyebrows narrowed. "What the fuck does he have to do with this?"

"It seems like he's more of your boyfriend than I am nowadays. You're all uptight now and you're not down for me as much. Is this because of him?" John sighed with an angry expression.

"Billy has nothing to do with this, John. I told you, we're just friends and I've made that explicitly clear to him too. I think I just miss you a lot and it's hard for me to deal with us not being together all the time anymore so I'm acting like a bitch. I'm sorry," I apologized—a bit confused about what I was actually apologizing for, but I figured it was better than continuing to argue.

John nodded and told me it was okay before taking me in for a hug. His scent invaded my nose, making me relax a bit from the familiarity of it. I missed my old life with John and my friends in Chicago. I missed so much about living there and being with them and creating memories that would last me years to come. This was the part of John I loved the most: the comfort and steadiness he provided. He was a smooth and nostalgic road to stroll down.

"Don't be friends with him anymore, Bo."

My arms dropped and I pulled away from our embrace wildly confused. "With who?"

"Billy."

"What?" I scoffed, searching his green eyes for a hint of sarcasm or humor. There was nothing but legitimacy. "You actually can't be serious, John. Are you jealous of him?"

"No, I'm not fucking jealous. I'm the one who just fucked you like eight hours ago," He snapped harshly. "I just don't like him and I don't think he's good for you."