Since dad and I moved back here to San Francisco, no one has mentioned my mom. Frankly, I've been trying to cope with it for a while, 3 years to be precise. Trying to pretend that everything is well and dad is okay when in reality he isn't. But being an only parent would only make him more protective of me, and I get it. But I didn't want him to think that it's all of his responsibility when I can handle everything for myself. I didn't want him to think that he was alone, I was there for him as well.
The past year I think managed to get myself together. Then we moved away from Louisiana in an attempt to start fresh yet again in another that buries the older memories of my mother - San Francisco.
After Aaliyah and I took a seat at Tim Hortons, we managed to catch up for a while.
''I'm sorry for my sudden reaction, Malliah. I'm just... I never thought I'd see you again. And after I heard about your mother...'' She pauses apologizingly.
''It's okay.'' I slightly shook my head and smiled. ''I just don't get it, I didn't think you'd remember me after all these years? I honestly almost couldn't remember you? I mean look at how big you've gotten'' I change the subject to avoid the rather depressing conversation we're finally having after 7 years.
''Well, your mother came by every year when she had a job in San Francisco. She was so kind and so warmhearted towards our family. And every time she visited us and joined us for dinner, she would usually talk about you. A lot. I basically got to know you without your physical presence. ''
I was almost speechless. Mom never told me she visited them every year.
''I honestly didn't know that.'' I wrap my hands around my heated coffee, still very confused why she wouldn't tell me. ''I haven't heard about any of you guys for 7 years.'' I literally felt so guilty that I hadn't heard of them or tried to get in touch.
''Really? 7 years? But... But Shawn kept sending you letters when you left for Louisiana. You never got them?''.
''Letters? What letters???'', I unconsciously raised my voice.
''After you left, Shawn started writing letters to your address in Louisiana. He kept writing through the years. Maybe five times a year or more. And I think, when I was around 10 years old, I asked him why he'd send you letters and why not just visit you in Louisiana. He told me you used to send letters to each other in class, and it was your absolute favorite way of communicating. But then one day, he stopped.'' She paused as I was trying to make sense of what she just told me. I couldn't make it fit into my little head, it didn't make any sense at all. I never got any letters from Shawn. Not even a 'hi welcome back, oh and btw I sent you letters for years, did you get them?' He literally tried to avoid looking at me, so please agree with me when I say it doesn't make any sense at all.
''Okay Aaliyah, let me just get this one more time. Shawn sent me letters? For years? And I didn't even receive one single letter? That would be very sad if he had the wrong address.'' I try to laugh it off with her, but it really wasn't funny.
''Yeah... I don't know why he stopped tho but he got really good at writing then he eventually started writing songs. Believe it or not.'' She giggles, trying to make this situation calmer.
Well easy, he basically stopped writing when he realized he was communicating to a wall.
''Hey! Why don't you join us for dinner tonight? I'm sure my mom and dad would be more than happy to see you again!''
''Arr, wouldn't that be weird? I mean...'' I try to brush it off.
''No that wouldn't be weird, Malliah. Please. We have more to catch up on. And Shawn told me about your incident on Friday night''.
''Wait. Wait, what? What did he tell you about Friday night?'' I furiously ask.
''I'll tell you later if you join us for dinner'', she caught me.
She was really good at convincing me. But did I want to ruin their dinner? Or rather, was I brave enough to face Shawn? Or worse, invade his house and eat with his family without his consent?
