If I remember precisely, it took 1708 steps to walk from my house to Shawn's house. 17 for my birthday and 08 for Shawn's. That's how easy it was to remember the way to his house.
As I walked over to their place, I kept thinking over and over again about why my mom kept visiting them. Why was I so oblivious to the fact that she was still in contact with my back then best friend and his family. Why did she leave me out of it, when she clearly knew that everything I had back then was them. But yet again. I was only 10 years old. How much did it matter to a little girl like me? And it makes me sick of how I'm trying to blame my mother when all I wanted right now - is to see her face one last time. I would literally give up everything, just to see her face one more time. And here I am being so selfish.
Stop it Malliah.
''Step 1708'' I whisper to my self, standing outside of the familiar house. As soon as I placed my finger on the doorbell, I refused to press it. How could I let myself into their house? How dared I as a stranger step into someone's house. Someone who clearly didn't want to have anything to do with me. And look where I am. That's where I'd say I crossed a line. Why didn't I realize this earlier before I left my house? I know Aaliyah wanted to catch up on the lost time, but that could be arranged at another time. So why the hell did I go with the invitation?
It took me 3 minutes to realize I was standing on Shawn's ground. So I turned around and I was about to walk out the port.
''Hey! Malliah?'' I hear Aaliyah's voice by the door. She probably saw me through the window. ''Dinner's ready, we made extra large portions for you as well!''.
Well, now I couldn't be disrespectful and walk home. They even made extra large portions for me. I couldn't do it to them. I couldn't rudely be leaving after they made extras for me.
I nervously took a seat by the table after I greeted their parents. I could feel my blood pressure was rising as I saw an empty spot and a plate right across from me.
''It's great to see you again, Malliah.'' Karen (the mother) placed her hand on mine. Oh so heartwarming she was.
''It's been so long that it's weird to be back again.''
''Well, you just need a little time to adjust, honey. Aaliyah will be good to you, so don't worry.'' Karen made me smile and look at Aaliyah. For the first time since I got back, I felt like I finally met someone who was true to me.
''Dang, something smells really good down there'' I heard steps getting closer as he walked down to the dining room. I didn't want to imagine his face when he sees me. Is it too late to abort mission and run right through the door?
''Mmmmh'' he inhales the smell of the food and opens the glass door to the dining room. It was too late to go back now. He entered the room, shirtless but then put on a random sweater from the hanger when he realized the presence of a guest.
''Shawn, look who's finally here for a visit'', his dad, Manny happily cheered.
I awkwardly half wave at him when our eyes met. I didn't know if he was mad or confused, or even both but he managed to fake a smile and let out a sigh. He didn't seem to be annoyed when he took a seat right across from me.
''So Aaliyah, how's it going with your school project?'' The parents start a typical conversation about school, while all I could feel was a wall full of bricks between Shawn and me.
It was almost like he was put in mute while eating his beef. But then our hands reached out for the salt at the same time and that's when he almost broke the silence between us. Finally, his brown eyes met with mine again. Not a single word came out of his mouth but he made a gesture for me to use it first.
''So Malliah'' Manny laughs after a while, as I nervously wait for what he was about to say. ''It's great to have you back. But I really gotta rush to work. You're welcomed here anytime'' He taps my back as he heads to his room and Karen follows him, which left the three of us alone at the table.
Shawn was still eating, so I guess he was forced to be seated.
As Aaliyah looked at me, the first thing that came to me was Friday night.
''You promised me, Aaliyah''.
Shawn looks up to see what the fuzz was about.
''And I always keep my promises.'' I got relieved by what she said.
''So how did I get home? Why couldn't I remember anything? And how'd I get my pajamas on?'' I furiously spill out.
She laughs at how furious I was like I didn't need to worry if I was drugged or anything.
''Don't worry, Malliah.'' She laughs.
''Aaliyah'', Shawn silently called her name.
''Shawn t-''
''Aaliyah stop talking. If she wants to know, let me tell her the story. I was there.''
Wait what? Wow. He wanted to tell me something? Did Shawn really want to say something to me?
''Basically, you passed out on the couch beside me, then Miles and I guess one of your girl-friends drove you home. She probably changed for you too.'' He looks up at me.
I turned to Aaliyah to see if she confirmed the story even though she wasn't there, but I didn't get anything out of her. Who am I kidding? Of course, she would've confirmed, when Shawn was the one who told her the story.
''Eat your food, Aaliyah'' He almost shut her up.
