Not you again - Luke Hemmings

Chapter 16

Alison

I felt a little dizzy when I woke up. The weekend flew by way to fast and the dreadful Monday was there. I needed to probably see Luke today. Sammy texted me a few times but I ignored it. I was studying the whole weekend and wasn't eating anything, I still felt so uncomfortable with the situation that the thought of eating and becoming fatter disgusted me. But two days without eating are pretty hart.

I sat up in my bed rubbing my eyes. Sighing I stood up from my bed, holding onto my closet to not stumble after feeling dizzy again. I know I should eat something, it was getting kind of unhealthy but I couldn't get myself to it, feeling fat at the thought of it. I shook off the thought and got dressed, I wore the hoodie again, already feeling disgusting by wearing my normal skinny jeans. The event on the weekend brought me to a completely new level. Feeling more disgusted by myself, feeling fatter and being more disgusted by the thought of eating, kind of scared me. Was it getting out of control? No, I do rather get more control, I need to see it this way.

I walked out of my room into the bathroom.

"Oh no Loren is still in there." Hannah told me while walking past me into the kitchen.

"Oh, thanks."

"By the way, is everything fine?" she asked eying me.

"Yes? Why?" I looked at her confused. I hadn't even been crying yesterday, so this can't be the point.

"Don't know, you look a bit sick." she said honestly. When I have learned one thing till now, Hannah is always saying the truth now matter if it sounds a bit rude. It's good and bad at the same time. Loren and she didn't get along that well because of that.

"No, I'm fine. Just tired." I lied going back into my room. Okay, so I#m needing make-up today. When I looked into my mirror I needed to admit, Hannah was right, I looked sick. My skin was pale and I had heavy eye rings. Okay, well, could be worse.

I applied the make up on my face and a bit on my neck, because you could still see the hickey lightly. After that I put on some mascara to make myself seem less tired. So that needs to be enough, I looked normal again.

Now that the bathroom was finally free, I entered to brush my teeth. Okay, today morning won't work out without my coffee, so I went into the kitchen getting myself a cup. I was so happy that we all weren't morning persons so it was usually quiet.

I decided to leave early so I maybe won't see Luke. It felt weird going outside with my glasses. Yes, it sadly takes some time to get new contact lenses. I felt like my old me, like I would be going to high school, again.

When I walked on the campus I was still looking down, not wanting to look out for Sammy and the boys. But of course luck wasn't on my side, on the bench right beside the entrance was Sammy, already waving me over to her.

"What was up? I texted you the whole weekend? Alison?" Sammy asked standing up hugging me. When she sat back down I looked at Luke scared. His eyes went wide, oh shit. No...

"Now I remember, you were that geek, right? Fat Ally?" Luke exclaimed.

"Yeah right. That's me." I admitted looking down.

"What?" Sammy asked.

"We went to the same high school. She kind of got bullied because she was fat and a geek. Mainly my friends bullied her, to be honest, but they wouldn't do now, since you became that pretty.How much weight do you have lost? 60lbs? No wonder I haven't recognized you." Luke was talking the same way as back then, he hasn't changed. Nothing has changed. Nothing will change, everybody knows now. I looked up with tears in my eyes, everyone was looking at me with a mixture of confusion and surprise. I couldn't take it... I just can't...

The entrance door was opened, so I just started running. I heard how Luke and Sammy were calling my name but I didn't stop. I ran around a few corners, into the restrooms, hiding in one of the toilet stalls.

When I sat down there was nothing holding me back anymore. I started crying. How could I be so stupid. I should have stayed away from him, from the whole beginning, the campus is big enough so why on earth haven't I? No even worse, I even slept over at his just to loose my contact lenses. It's all my fault, I am so stupid! This was my chance to start all over! I need to stay away from all of them! Why haven't I done it like planed? No one should notice me, no friends, no partying. What's so hart about it to not understand?!

I was now full crying, sobs leaving my mouth every time I breathed. I need to calm down. I can't skip the first lesson, even though I wanted to. I got out of the stall looking into the mirror, oh hell. I took a piece of toilet paper to fix my lightly smudged mascara. I brushed my hair lightly into my face. Breath in, breath out, go.

The bell just ran, announcing that the lesson started. I ran to my room, quietly opening the door and sitting down in the first free chair. Thankfully it was far away from Sammy. She looked at me, mouthing something but I couldn't catch it. I directly looked down at my desk.

The class went by way to fast, thankfully my next class was without Sammy. I know I needed to talk to her sooner or later but I just can't. Shortly before the bell ran I had already packed my bag making me stand up with the bell. I rushed towards the door opening it. Ready to rush out I bumped into someone.

"Oh sorry." I just wanted to say until I realized that the person still had his arms around me. Oh no. I looked up. Luke.

"Alison, please let me talk to you..." he started but I was already wiggling out of his grip.

"No, please. Please, just leave me. Please." I wasn't going to cry in front of him, not again, not like in high school. Tears were already building up into my eyes.

"Lis..." I heard Sammy say behind me, making me turn around in shock.

"No, just please, leave me alone. You all, please." I whisper-yelled. I felt the hot tear run down my cheek. No, Alison! I turned away and ran off again.

Why is this happening to me? Why was I so stupid? Just, why?!

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So this chapter is normally long :D Don't know, why the other became that long.... Anyway what do you think? The next chapter will, of course be Luke p.o.v. ;) but I don't want to spoiler you...

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