Dreams Of A Failure

Dawn

I think I've finally found her. Someone that won't tear me apart, or at least I hope not. Rosalie. She seems sympathetic, nice, loving. I just don't know if she's going to like me, you know with the whole girl thing being an issue. She seems like she's into girls, but she's also religious and I'm not sure if that's going to go over well. Sometimes people are just nice and it means nothing, but I'm not sure about her. She seems to really connect with me in a way no one else has in a long time. And we just met. I'm not sure how my head even let this happen, but it's happening and now it wont stop. I'm not sure how I'm supposed to let Irene go, but I think it'll be so much easier with Rosalie.

The thing is with Rosaline is that we may be too similar. We have so many interest that are exactly the same and everyone always says you shouldn't be with someone too similar to you because you'll just get tired of them. But for some reason I'm just so drawn to her. I want her to know everything about me and I wanna know everything about her. I want her to cry on my shoulder as I hold her close and I can feel her pulse racing beneath my fingertips. I want to be the one she goes to in her time of need, but it's just so unlikely that she'll ever see me that way. She's so funny and creative, but no one's really sure about her sexuality. She hasn't dated any guys, like, ever, but that doesn't mean much. She's probably just too busy to be in a relationship. Which is why I have to stop while I'm ahead. I know this is probably just my heart trying to get me to let Irene go, and I need to worry about myself first.

With all that said, I can still feel myself falling for her already. God, I'm such an idiot. Whatever. With Irene, the sun was always setting and it made the most beautifully painful sunsets, but with Rose, it seems like the sun may be rising, and it fills me with the greatest amount of hope I've ever felt.