Chapter 7

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As Jin started the car before the sun had come up, he did not have eggs and the grocery store in mind (contrary to the message he left his son). Seokjin had called the optometrist late on the previous night and set up an extremely early appointment for the next day.

In the pit of his stomach, he knew the trip was pointless, but Jin still drove for an hour to see Dr. Kim in light of the impossible hope that it could help his son. Jin had made appointments like this countless times at the start of Jungkook's blindness, but now he only used them as wake up calls every week or so.

Jin turned up the radio as he sped to the doctor's office, attempting to drown out thoughts that never seemed to go away. Kookie's blindness was always on his mind, even if it was concealed in shadow while Jin enjoyed a few quickly fleeting moments of happiness.

The man thoughtlessly yelled lyrics during the whole trip. He tried to get them stuck in his head to push out images of his crying son as Jin fidgeted in his waiting room seat. When Jungkook's name was called after what felt like a day, Jin rose awkwardly and hurried to follow the nurse, E-soo, whom he'd come to know well.

"How is Jungkook today? Trying out the cane, I hope," she said politely, trying to bring up his son without bringing up Jin's tears.

"He seems happier today," replied Jin. "He's started bringing the cane with him on his visits to the ocean, but he told me he hates the dependency that comes with using it." The nurse nodded, not wanting to stir the overflowing pot any longer.

E-soo took Jin to the consultation room, as she always did when Jungkook wasn't with them. She left with a measured, "the doctor will be with you shortly," and a smile.

Jin sat in the more comfortable of the two poorly cushioned patient chairs, bouncing his knees like a child. When Dr. Kim entered, Jin began to notice all the background noises in the room and decided it would be best to stop his heels clicking on the floor.

"Good morning, Seokjin," Dr. Kim Namjoon said with a smile. Because of their long friendship, Namjoon knew Seokjin always went by Jin. However, this was a formal doctor's office, and Namjoon was already pushing it by not using Jin's last name.

Jin nodded to Namjoon and decided to stand up, so they bowed to each other. They both took their seats. Jin smirked as he noticed a small coffee stain on Dr. Kim's mostly-pristine white coat; Namjoon was clumsy as much as he was a doctor.

"So, how is our little Jungkook these days?" the doctor asked carefully. Even Jin's close friend acted politically, weary of provoking Jin's emotions.

"He's doing better: using his cane, crying less, smiling again. But he's very unstable; if he becomes upset, it's almost like watching him go through it all over again. I came to see if maybe there was something..." Jin said, words coming to a stop when he saw Namjoon's hand go up. The doctor had a pleasant expression, but it didn't hint at his feelings in the slightest.

"Seokjin, I thought we'd exhausted this topic," Namjoon pressed politely. "Your son's optic nerves have atrophied and died. I can't explain it, and I can't fix it. The best we can do is monitor and hope that Jungkook can accept what has happened to him."

The doctor had given Jin this speech multiple times, and each time Namjoon sounded more and more like a broken record.

"I-I just feel like there's something more we can do. I feel like there's a piece of the puzzle that's missing," Jin muttered helplessly, only half believing his own words. Namjoon softly shook his head.

"I've recommended a therapist, a psychologist, and a sensory training program. There is no medicine or surgery to give him. There is nothing else I can do," Dr. Kim voiced, just as he had done at the first of Jin's many visits. Jin nodded, blankly watching the floor.

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