The Cardinal Bird (1 of Cardinal Series)

Chapter 34

A/N:  We're so close to meeting some more of the Blackbourne team.  So close!  If this author would just quit teasing your emotions!!  If you want notified about updates, insights, and other exclusive content, make sure to follow!

You're not dead. How did one respond to that? 'No, I'm not...surprise?'

"You unplugged your heart monitor," North continued, seeming to deduce things that seemed somewhat random to me.

"Yes, how did you know?"

"I could hear it."

"Through the closed door?"

He kept his gaze on my face. "How do you think I heard you in the tank?"

His boots made a loud rhythm as he stepped farther into the room. It was so different from the sound of his footsteps crossing that metal lid, but I could still picture the darkness, the bloody halo of golden blonde hair, and just past that, North's face wearing the same wary expression that he was now. And why wouldn't I be able to picture it? It pretty much was yesterday to me, since I had been unconscious after that.

It felt like I had lived a year in two days.

North nodded at the bed. "You shouldn't be up. You'll hurt yourself. More than you already are."

I went back to sit down when the nurse returned. Her face was frantic until she saw me. Then she deflated the worry out in a deep sigh. "Oh, Sang. You scared me. One of the nurses tracked me down when they said you coded out." She came up and helped me into the bed. She looked apologetic. "Normally they would be in here, but we have the strictest orders that you aren't to be visited by anyone and no unauthorized nurses are to be in here. Only two nurses in the whole building, me and Susan, the night-shift nurse, actually can come in here."

That fact actually made me smile. If Karl was making sure that there were only two seemingly well-vetted nurses in here, then I wouldn't have to worry about being killed in my sleep by an imposter. Hopefully.

Realizing that she was still rambling out apologies and outcries at the absurdity of the whole situation even as she helped reattach me to all of the machines, I tried to reassure her. "It's okay. It's for my protection. It will keep me much safer this way."

I kept up a string of platitudes to match her litany of wrongdoings until mine eventually cancelled hers out and there was only a tiny trickle of grumbles. A small smile lit my face. It had been strangely satisfying to be able to do something kind for such a nice person. And she was a nice person. I could see that now once my trust in the guys had allowed for me to assess her without paranoia-colored glasses.

The whole time she was fussing over me, I tried my best to ignore the silent, watchful eyes from the wall North had propped himself against. I had the sneaking suspicion that he was letting no small action go unnoticed.

"Oh, huh," she gasped while she had been helping me to some ice chips. Luckily enough, it wasn't actual water otherwise I may have choked. "I forgot to introduce myself! I've gotten so used to talking to you while you were sleeping, that I feel like I know you. My skills are indeed getting rusty in my years."

North snorted, the first visible...or I guess auditory...reaction he had given since she entered the room.

She either didn't hear or didn't acknowledge. "My name is Erica Lee. Please, call me Erica."

"Nice to meet you," I said after a short pause. My social skills were diminutive at best. Nikolai had learned early on that I wasn't any good at subterfuge, though he had tried his best to make it ingrained through sheer force alone. It had never worked. I was too unaccustomed to socializing by the time he had kidnapped me from...well, since he had kidnapped me two years ago at the tender age of 17. On top of that, I couldn't lie to save my life.

Erica's smile was a megawatt of brilliance. She squeezed my hand quickly. "It's so nice to meet you as well. Officially. It's been a rough week caring for you, but not because you're a cantankerous, wily patient that likes to try my temper," her smile was soft, and her gaze distant, clearly thinking of someone or more than one someone in particular. She was fond of even her "difficult" patients.

She shook her head with a smile that was slightly sad now. "No, with you, it's been difficult because you...well, you're so...and all of...it's just so wrong! You...Susan and I have been bathing you, and we've both...the things we saw--" her eyes teared up.

Though it made me supremely uncomfortable, I reached out and squeezed her hand like she had mine. The ice chips had done wonders, so my voice was strong when I said, "It's fine. Don't worry about it. I'm still here. I'm okay."

Erica let out a watery laugh, dabbing at her eyes. "My son says I get too emotionally invested in my work. He says it will drive me insane one day. He may be right. But...I think the day I become emotionally uninvested is the day I need to quit nursing. There are too many nurses that do it out of necessity, but I want to remember that these are people and their lives."

"That's very noble," I said, feeling lower than low. I had done things from behind my computer screen that had affected countless people's lives. I'd turned off my emotions to it the best I could to try to forget the people on the other side of it. To protect myself. And here was Erica, a nurse that helped people for a living, sacrificing her own emotional health to make sure she remembered.

Erica patted my shoulder. "If you could convince my son of that, maybe he'd believe me."

"I'm sure he believes that," I said. "He probably is just concerned about you. You care for all of these people. Who worries about you?"

"Indeed," she said carefully. "And who worries about you?"

People flashed through my mind that I had tried to forget. I fiddled with the freshly hooked-up IV line. I definitely avoided meeting any dark, black eyes. "Me," I said, not sure if I was able to hide all of the disgust from my voice when I said it.

"What a tiring life," Erica said sagely, also avoiding the dark, observant shadow still propped up against the far wall. "Though...I think you may not be the sole person filling that role now."

I adamantly fought the reactive blush, keeping my eyes on my hands. North didn't even fidget, and there was no way I was looking up to see if he was blushing as well. He probably didn't even have the ability to, the lucky person.

"Once this protection detail gets lifted, I could introduce you to my son, Kota. Then maybe he could divide up his time worrying about the both of us. You'd get another person watching your back, and I'd get a break!" She winked at me. "It's the least you can do since I've been taking such good care of you. Us girls have to stick together, you know."

I hadn't actually known any nice females. Sure, they existed, without a doubt, but I hadn't interacted meaningfully with any. However, I found myself returning Erica's smile. "Sounds like a plan."

Her smile shifted from sisterly to motherly. "You'd like him. He's a very nice young man. He's smart and sweet and respectful and..."

"Completely embarrassed that I'm 19 and you're still trying to set me up on dates," a strong, commanding voice added from the doorway.

"Sorry?" Erica grinned in a completely unrepentant way. She turned to me and whispered, "Busted."