Hidden Emotion

the notion of self-love

years i've spent

yearning for what was beyond my grasp

worshipping the ones who seems to have it all

as i was left with none.

praying every night to

sacrifice.

take my art

and give me the voice of a sparrow

fix this broken heart of mine

quit loving the loveless

rescue me from my bodily prison

save me from the cacophony within

but only now has it occurred to me that

life is nothing more than a fallacious fantasy

we are breathing amalgamations of wrought stardust and mother nature

sewn together with the thread of what we wish to be.

why waste my time

hoping to be that someone else?

why not just

just be me?

ill never be slender like a stem,

so ill learn to love the curves of mine that others would die for.

trips and stumbles as my heart beats on,

ill find my match someday.

pristine blue sky springtime soprano isn't my specialty,

rather a rumbling alto is what shall spill out of my mouth like a summer night storm.

yes, ill never be completely satisfied.

jealousy will always be tied to one hand,

self-hatred to the other.

but god forbid i live a

meaningless

empty

sacrilegious

blank canvas

life

where i am nothing more than a body in the ground

to be forgotten when i am gone.

no, no.

i will laugh,

I will love,

and I will be the person I was destined to be,

an knife-witted thought-wielding flower-hearted effervescent nebula of a woman

who's name shall ring amongst the ears of the millions.

for i am me

and no one else.