Hidden Emotion

hiraeth

hiraeth- welsh; to feel homesick, to long for home. 

perhaps i shall be my own undoing in the end.

jaded bones ache for rest

hands scarred yet still giving

all thoughts rendered obstreperous.

the expectation placed by one's own self-

smile; let the people know you're affable,

sacrifice; leave behind more than you take,

strive; vow thy brilliance ineffable.

do not let them beyond the gates-

at arm's length hold your friend,

wound tight, bound might, heart in a box,

family is the only saviour in the end.

driven by a hamiltonian necessity

to outshine yet all the rest,

yet heaven forbid

this girl lays her body to rest.

work, work, until hands and heart bleed,

myriads of places to be,

learn, learn, until your mind surrenders to the unknown,

inexorable amounts of moments to see.

yet, this soul yearns for a home

where time trickles molasses,

to mend all journeys lost,

to compensate for the time that passes.

god, how the resonance of tears

stings, held in for much too long

this isn't who i am

tears are fallible, i am strong.

grit my teeth, spit the blood,

as my youth wanes thin,

manifest destiny for glory cacophonous,

yet searching for somewhere

the elysian moment

my curtain falls, fin. 

tl;dr- i'm very tired and exploring rhyme scheme to enhance my writing. if you still read this, bless you, and i love you all so much <3