Cassandra Book 2 (A Doctor Who Fanfic)

Chapter 15 School Reunion Part 3

"And if... If I don't die. Then I am going to outlive everyone...." I let out a breath as I sat on the dining chair of James apartment, holding a cup of tea James made me, though I had no desire to drink it. "Everyone!" I repeated. "Rose! Jackie! Mickey! You! and even the Doctor! I will lose everyone!" I let out, explaining the reason for my outburst outside his office. While I was still feeling the effects of it, I was finally calm enough to actually try and tell James the situation. I couldn't hold it in, I needed to tell someone. Rose probably wouldn't fully understand, Neither would Mickey, Jackie even so, and I couldn't tell the Doctor, not when he recently thought he was the last of his kind. How would you feel finding out you weren't the only one and then finding out that they hated it, that they would wish to be something else.

"I will lose everyone... Just like I lost Nath..." Tears began to fall again and I looked at the floor. "I want to go back, I want this... I want everything to go back to the time before I opened my pocket watch... I want to go back to when we were just in Cardiff. That was the last time, I ever felt truly like me." I confessed everything was fine, everything was good and happy back then.

"You say that but you wouldn't." James finally spoke up after I had finished, and I looked up at him confused. "You have that power right at your fingertips." He explained to me, signalling to the fact that I travel through time and space. "and yet you won't do it." He repeated. "I know you won't do it." He then told me. "because I know you know it is wrong. It is wrong to change your time stream, just like you haven't gone back and prevented what happened to our Nath." He explained, and I looked down once again.

"But I can wish it." I sulked.

"You can wish for anything." He agreed but came close. He spoke calmly and with a steady voice. "but think off all the consequences." He started. "If that happened the future of the earth would still be in the hand of... What you call them? Those Duplex... Duleks... Daleks!" He guessed and I couldn't help but let out a small smile at that. "But any way you stopped them. And you saved the Doctor. You saved him and the only way was to do what you did. You opened the pocket watch." He moved the Pocket watch that laid on the dining table closer and I gave it a look before drawing my attention back to what James was saying. "And the Sycorax! They would have still come to Earth, even if you didn't open it the watch, they still would have come! Where would you, The Doctor and Rose be if that did not happen? You may not have been here to save us and you were! Well, you told me! That the Doctor lost his hand up there! Would he have continued to fight and win one handed? He wouldn't have gotten a new one if he didn't regenerate! And! if you didn't open that watch and become a timelady." He explained before grabbing one of my hands that still clenched onto the coffee mug. "You became a Timelady to save. And that it the person you are. And that is still you." He spoke more sternly. "It doesn't matter what species you are. It is what you learn on the way that makes you who you are, and while I know you are in pain and you are having difficulty, you are still you, even if you don't feel like it. You will grow stronger, braver and even more smarter as you go through this. Let me ask you after what I had just said... Would you still go back and change it to make your life easier again?" He questioned me as the tears still left my eyes and I shook my head, no I wouldn't change it. I couldn't...

"No." He started again. "and that's you." He smiled softly at me. "You are still you, even throughout what you are going through and there is nothing to be ashamed of or even! Hate about yourself! because of it. Everything happens for a reason, everyone has struggles and while your struggles may not be what you expected, they're still there and they are only there to make you stronger. To make you have the power to overcome things. Struggle one." He started moving his hand away from mine and the volume of his voice went higher. "You have Rose, Me, The Doctor and even if they don't know, if they did, Mickey and Jackie. All of us, we're your family! We'll make sure you don't die! You are not alone and you know that. You are going live." He told me. "Which that brings us to struggle two." He took a breath. "Everyone has the fear that they will live longer than the people they love, and while that is more likely for it to happen to you because of your lifespan, everyone goes through the same thing. Most chose to ignore it." He stated. "That because they would rather be in the present than the future and you know Re? You believe that we never truly die, don't you? That we go to heaven and hell or Limbo. Even if someone close to you, like Nath, died, they'll still be with you. Watching over you and in your heart and memories. We will always live on through the memories of others. I see that the only way to truly die is to be forgotten, so even though it may hurt in the future and how much you wish for it not to happen. Just focus on one thing." He places one finger up. "Just focus on one thing, make as many memories with them, spend as much time as you can with everyone you love, live like they could go any second and make those days the best that they can ever be and don't regret. They will live on, Nath does. He watches over you, more so you then he does me." He brushed a hand through my hair. "Go get some rest, I have a spare bedroom. I'll make a call to Rose, telling her that I will bring you to the school tomorrow okay." He finished and I nodded slowly as he then got up taking his and my now cold cups of tea away to the sink.