Heal Me

Escape From Reality (9)

Lavanya looks down at her hands "How can I expect him to love me when he don't feel anything for me? ASR was and has been always clear about his feelings, it was us who were fool enough to expect for a miracle." She speaks in low voice and Anjali hugged her instantly, not understanding anything which she can say because even she knows that Lavanya is right.

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Arnav was trying to work but the laptop screen and files were not able to take his mind away from the girl in another room across him. He have seen the how the hope in her eyes shattered, the little bit of old Khushi he got to see in morning again disappeared and becoming the lifeless woman which by now he is sure that he hates.

Her unnecessarily chatter, her pranks, her love for loud music and everything which used to irritate him, is now what he is actually missing. He knows how it feels when the people from whom you expect support, leaves your side when you need them most. He is not unaware of that pain, that disappointment. A part of him wants to tell her the path which he had chosen to fight this pain but just imagining a Khushi with no smile of hers, no pranks, no childlike behavior makes him shudder.

He sighed finally pushing his laptop away, he is unable to work anyways. He thought to check on Khushi before going to sleep when he remembers his behavior with Lavanya and he decided to meet her first. He walks towards her room and knocked the door after hesitating for a moment.

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Khushi was gazing at the stars with tears in her eyes, remembering her moments spent with her Babu ji. After she lost her parents, Shashi Gupta took a clueless child under his wings and showered her with all the love as his own child. It took her sometime but with time she finally accepted that her parents aren't going to come back. Slowly, she accepted Gupta family as her own, she never wanted to think otherwise but Bua ji.

She never let her forget the fact that she is an orphan, she didn't know and still can't understand why she don't like her? Why she always look for reasons to call her bad omen? She knows that Payal and Amma must be trying hard to convince her right now but if Bua ji have decided to not take her back than it can push Payal and Amma to face more problems and she don't want that.

If anything goes wrong, they have nowhere to go. Their house in Lucknow is already under mortgage and there are high chance they can loose it because they won't unable to pay the mortgage after Babu ji. She looks at the twinkling stars again, her parents and her Babu ji and smiled "I am sorry. I failed you. All are hurt because of me. I don't know what to do, where to go, anymore. I can't and I don't want to be a burden to anyone."

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"Lavanya, I am really sorry. You know her condition and after how you were talking so casually about her father's illness, I thought if you said something which can hurt her." Arnav tried to apologize looking anywhere but her.

Lavanya smiled sadly before answering him "Wow! I can't believe ASR is actually apologizing to me." She stopped as he glared at her before continuing again "It's ok. I understand. My behavior with her or anyone hasn't been so innocent in past but with Khushi, I am trying to change and trust me not only for becoming your wife. Yes, initially it was only because of that reason but slowly I started realizing that I was turning evil in my selfishness and wish to climb up. I started realizing that how little things can make you happy. How the relations around you supports you when you need them."

"I am still trying to understand these things, the relations, the emotions attached with them. I know I talked so casually about her father's illness but that doesn't mean I'll hurt her." Lavanya sighed and turned to other side. "Though I was feeling but today I realized that whatever I was thinking was just an illusion. What are we doing, ASR? You and I both know that there is no future of our relation then why are we continuing this game and giving hopes to family?"

Arnav gulped as he walks toward the window "Actually, I was myself thinking to talk about this to you. Lavanya, You and I both know that it was started just as drama for my Nani (grandmother), so she stops pestering me for marriage. I know things started taking completely different turn and you were actually trying to become a partner in my life. I am sorry if my actions lead you on but I never wanted that. I have come to know a completely different Lavanya in last few days and I can say that you're not someone which you used to show others. I don't want to pull into this mess anymore and hurt you, I will deal with Nani and Di. We had a deal and I will complete my side now, you'll get your promotion and we can end whole charade right away."

Lavanya smiled through tears and nodded "I know you were always clear from your side but I started dreaming and you can't blame me for it. You have girls around you, waiting for slightest of your attention and I was the one to get that chance, first in office and then here. I won't deny that I am hurt but yes, no heartbroken. I have always thanked Khushi inwardly for taking my name in front of Nani because I thought I got a chance of becoming Mrs. ASR and I still am but for a different reason. If she hadn't then I would have never met the other me, never got to live in a such a loving family and realize the importance of relations."

Arnav smiled with a nod "So, I'll tell everyone in few days as they are already worried about Di and Khushi but if you want to leave I won't stop you. I don't want you to get more hurt with all this drama."

Lavanya walks closer to him before replying "Though I want to leave right away but after all the love I have received from this family, I don't want to do that. Let's wait for the right time to tell them but yea now that we are clear about everything, I would like to join office again as soon as possible." Arnav agreed and left before saying sorry for the last time.

Arnav knocks on the door of Khushi's room but got no answer. He tried again but got same response, he twisted the door lock and found it open. He walks inside the room to find it empty, with a frown he calls her name "Khushi.... Khushi..... Khu..." he stopped looking at the washroom door and inching closer, he heard the voice of shower running.

He sighed in relief before he settled on her bed, waiting for her to come out. He started feeling weird after sometime when the shower's voice continued with same pace, there is no other voice coming from inside and neither Khushi is coming out. Panic filled him as he started knocking on washroom's door while calling her name.

He cursed under his breath and without waiting anymore starts breaking the door. His hands hurt and one of them started bleeding but he didn't care. The door finally broke and he entered inside, looking around he found Khushi's figure lying inside the shower cubicle. He screamed her name and opened the glass door only to be left paralyzed. There Khushi was lying with both her wrists slit and blood flowing with water.

To be continued..................