Hours

12- Wednesday, May 16th

8:03 AM

I leave for school at least half an hour early, partly because I'm antsy to get out of the house, and partly because I want to get to school before Micheal- and more importantly, Alisa and Andy. The house is quiet once again as I leave, and I drive through town slowly, trying to block out any memories of my dream.

Dreams have always been forgettable for me. Often I don't dream at all. When I was younger, I had nightmares a lot more often, twisted tales about monsters in dark forests. I've never been able to control my dream, and I often forget them as soon as I wake up.

But these past two nights have been different. My dreams have been vivid and stuck in my memory. The first was reassuring, like a mothers kiss, but last nights... harsh, unforgiving, and loud. But they both ended the same way, and both times I felt the same. Full, but empty. As if all my stress had been drained, and replaced with something else. I contemplated it. Fulfilment?

I shake my head to clear my thoughts and realize that I'm right in front of the school. I frown; this happened yesterday. I zoned out but somehow made it to school without incident. Odd. Though what wasn't at this point?

I head through the halls, marvelling at the difference that being 15 minutes earlier makes. The halls are practically empty, just a few students here and there, all on their laptops or phones, waiting for their friends to arrive or the school day to start. I enter my hall, relieved to see no sign of Micheal and even more relieved to see no sign of Alisa or Andy.

I spin the combination on my locker, my brain floating somewhere else. I almost jump when I hear him speak,

"Hey..." I look over to see Micheal standing at his locker, just a few over, a shy smile on his face. He's dressed in his usual black attire, white earbuds snaking through his hoodie, black hair falling onto his eyes.

He looks cute.

"Hi." I smile back, closing my locker and heading over to lean against one nearer to him. "Still good to go hiking?"

He looks down at himself, then back up at me, and shrugs. "I guess." I look at myself, too. Simple blue top and Lululemon leggings. Nondescript black Nikes. Basic. I look him up and down too; hiking in those pants may be tough, but we can stop if he really wants to.

"You'll be fine," I say, as he closes up his locker.

"So what is it with hiking?" He asks, turning towards our English class. I follow him through the halls that are just beginning to fill.

"What do you mean?" I ask, avoiding a group of sophomores.

"You said you go every Wednesday," He states, "I was wondering why?"

"Oh," I say, trying to think up a reason. "Well... I guess it helps me think. It helps me stay in shape, too. And I'm usually the only person at home, so it keeps me out of the house while my parents are at work or... whatever." I finish hastily, not wanting to think of Mom.

"That's nice." He says quietly, almost absentmindedly. "Where is it again?"

I try to think of a landmark nearby, but all that comes to mind are the trails and curves that I so love. "Um... it's just somewhere on the escarpment. I don't really know." I shrug, though he can't see it from behind. "Like I said, only a 15-minute drive."

We reach Mr Reynolds class with 15 minutes to spare, a personal record if I do say so myself. Luckily, Mr Reynolds is already at his desk, the door unlocked and open. Micheal enters the room, with me trailing behind. We take a seat at our desks, and a comfortable silence falls as we begin to unpack our bags.

Then I hear the music.

It's the same haunting piano music from my dream last night. I only heard it faintly through the 'walls' in the dream, but it's still as mesmerizing as before. I hear Micheal mumble something, and I turn to him.

"What?" I ask, worrying- probably rightly- that I sound hysterical and crazy. If I do, Micheal shows no signs of noticing.

"Primavera," He says again, quietly. "Ludovico Einaudi." He smiles again, almost to himself. "Again..."

"You're able to recognize instrumental music?" I ask incredulously; I can hardly memorize music with lyrics. "From memory?"

"Yeah, I guess so." He shrugs again.

"What are you, some kind of Beethoven?" I joke lamely, a small smile dancing on my lips.

To my surprise, Micheal laughs. A real laugh, hearty and full, just a bleat, but a sound so perfect I stare at him for a moment in surprise. He flashes me another shy smile, and I laugh too, with him. "If I'm Beethoven, you're a comedian." He teases after a moment.

I sit there, stunned by the friendly jab, his behaviour so... different from yesterday. Eventually, I laugh too, and we sit there, nervously giggling, until the rest of the class filters in.

I see Amelia as she walks in and my smile fades, followed by my stomach dropping. Where am I going to sit during lunch? Amelia shoots me a smile that quickly turns to a glare as she sees who I'm sitting with- again.

A cold stone of anger grows in the pit of my stomach. I'll show her, I'll show all of them. Micheal is not a loser, not a dropout, not a can to kick around.

"Come eat lunch with me," I say, turning suddenly to Micheal, causing him to drop his pen in surprise.

"What?" He's said that a lot. Maybe it's because I've been making random demands out of the blue to him a lot.

"Come eat lunch with me today," I repeat, not shying out like I did yesterday. "Why not?" I shrug, trying to be casual.

"But... I mean... why?" He asks, looking panicked.

"Why not?" I say again, urging him with my eyes to say yes.

"Is this about Amelia?" He demands suddenly, suspiciously.

"No. I want to spend more time together." I cover, panicking slightly myself. Micheal gives me a look that says he doesn't believe that in the slightest. "Fine..." I give in, ashamed. "But that's not it," I say when he looks disappointed. "Yes, this is about Amelia. And Lindsay. And Ashley. But it's about you too."

"Right," He says unbelievingly,

"I'm serious!" I protest. "Yes, I want to prove to all of them that I don't care what they think. But I also want them to see you, as you are. I want them to see that you're not-" I stop myself, mortified.

"A loser?" He says, and I look at him, ready to defend myself once again (while probably digging myself an even larger hypothetical hole), but he smiles. Not joyous like before, more rueful, but certainly a smile. "I know you all say that."

"I don't-"

"Anymore," He corrects me. I think back. Sure, I never knew if it was Micheal that I was insulting, harassing, or name calling, but I still did it. I was still cold and cruel as the rest of my friends. I still am. "I know you know that it was wrong, and I know you know that you did it anyway, but I'm not blaming you." He looks down. "I would have done the same."

I stare at him for a moment, before finally finding my voice. "Well that settles it then, doesn't it?" Micheal looks up at me. "Come and eat lunch with us today. Worst case scenario, we can leave."

Micheal looks up, "We?" He questions.

"We," I confirm, and a small hint of that rare smiles shines. I smile back, and we spend the rest of the period not really working but talking and laughing. I ignore Amelia's stare and enjoy myself.

It's been a while.