Hours

16- Wednesday, May 16th

4:57 PM

"There it is," I say lamely, gesturing ahead to the fencing surrounding the lookout. "Halfway there."

Micheal stays silent as we approach the rusted railing. I look out at the newly budding leaves, breathing in the fresh scent coming off the air as it drifts past us lazily. Micheal leans against the railing quietly, supposedly taking it all in.

The lookout doesn't pretend to boast a difficult climb, nor does it claim the most beautiful views, but being up there, over the slowly rustling leaves of the forest below, seems to create the sense that it's just you and the planet, breathing together. It's a feeling I've grown to find comforting over the many Wednesday afternoons I've hiked here. The city is hidden behind the trees, and the noises of traffic are dulled behind bird cries and squirrel chirps. I've never been out late enough to know, but something tells me that if you were to be out at night, you could convince yourself that the city doesn't exist at all beneath the bright, shining stars that create a magical sort of dome around you. It's something I've always wanted to do, but I've never really had the motivation. Maybe sometime soon I'll be able to do it, to see the stars all the way out to the Milky Way, maybe beyond. Maybe I'd fall into those stars and leave Earth behind for good, maybe-

"Kayla," Micheal says suddenly, breaking me out of my reverie. "I want to talk to you about something."

Those words are really never a good thing to hear, regardless of whose saying them. A teacher, parent, boyfriend, girlfriend- You really don't want to hear them. So, despite only knowing Micheal for a few days, despite only considering himself as my 'friend' yesterday, I stiffen at his words. It's a sort of instinct, you know?

"Yeah?" I say uncertainly, placing more of my weight on the rusted fence that keeps us from the fall to the bottom, as a sort of barrier.

"Well, I've actually been thinking about this for a while now." He goes on, pointedly, I notice, not looking at me. "I know it was you on Monday. You were the one who bought me a new lunch. Of course, it was you, who else would it be? Even after I tried to push you away, figuring this was some sick joke... But it wasn't. It isn't, right?" He sounds less sure of himself once he says this. I shake my head silently, wanting him to continue. "And through this week, you've just been so nice..." He stops again, seemingly at a loss of words. "But why now, Kayla?" Micheal asks, bringing up the question I dreaded hearing. He pushes away from the railing and finally looks at me. "We're a month away from graduation, and before this week, I didn't even think you knew who I was, let alone that I existed. Why this week, why now, why me?" His face is so open and confused that I almost tell him the truth.

But what could I even say? 'An angel asked me on Friday- this coming Friday- to go back in time and save your life. You had just killed yourself by driving right through traffic and into me.'? Like that doesn't sound like presumptuous, crazy, and mocking all decided to have a party. So if I can't say that... What do I say?

"Micheal..." I started, still trying to come up with something logical. "I... I don't have an answer for you." I blurt out. "I don't know why. Something this week... After seeing you with Andy and Alisa on Monday... and looking at my own friends... I don't know. Something was wrong." Micheal seems just as confused as I feel, but I keep going. "I knew you were in my classes," Okay, so that's a lie. "But I guess I never talked to you because of my other friends. You know how that worked out, clearly."

"So... what you're saying is that you ignored me for the past four years because your friends wouldn't approve if you talked to me?" I don't look at him as he says it, fearing anger, sensing disappointment.

"You saw how they reacted today... I'm still awful, I know."

"I don't think that, Kayla. How can I? You've been nicer to me this week than anyone has been since I started high school. But I need to know one thing. I want you to tell me one thing. Is it over after this week?"

And there it is. The question I've been asking. Is it over after this week? On Monday I probably would've told you yes, since I didn't believe this could be happening anyways. Now though... Who am I to turn to if I push Micheal away? I'm pretty sure I've ended my friendship between Lindsay and Ashley at lunch, and after what I said I doubt they'd let me return after the week was up. Besides which, did I even want to? I thought that this week would be awful- trying to save Micheal Sawyer? Impossible. But now I'm not so sure.

I make up my mind right there and then. "No. I don't want it to be over. It's been two days, and I already feel closer to you than I ever did to Ashley or Lindsay. They were fake. You're real." I cringe at how sappy and love-sick I sound, especially since we're not even a 'thing'.

"Thank you," Micheal says quietly. We sit in silence for another minute, the sound of the forest the only sound around us.

I glance at my phone. The time startles me. It's nearly 6:00; we've been here for almost two hours. I hate to suggest it, given the peace of the hike and the sombreness of the mood, but I say it anyways, "We should probably start heading back..."

"Hmm?" Micheal says, looking at me and then at his own phone. "Oh yeah... Yeah."

We push away from the railing, giving one last glance at the golden-green trees below, and start back down the trail.

And now it was my turn to cause alarm with my words.