Into The Rabbit Hole And All It's Sinful Delights

Going Home For Christmas

  For the first time, Mel had to help me leave the club that night. When she came through the door ten minutes after Master D left, she sat by me on the couch and took the blindfold off.

  She could see me, but I wasn't seeing her. When she dropped the blindfold on the arm of the couch, it made a wet splat sound. The fabric was soaked in the tears I didn't know I cried.

  When Mel called my name for the third time and I still didn't answer, she gathered me in her arms and lead me out of the room. I followed her to the locker rooms and out of the front door of Sinful Delight on autopilot. My body was following the motions while my mind was left somewhere back in that room.

  I still couldn't form any words by the time we made it back to the apartment. Mel didn't push either. She wished me goodnight soon after walking through the door and left me to think about everything for the rest of the night.

  What a mess it was to think about!

  Master D had to put some type of spell over me because I was not the woman that he made me act like. I'd never imagined having someone whip me and I enjoy it.

  Hell, who was I kidding, if he would have let me talk I would have begged him for it! Beg for whatever Sir wanted to give me all without stopping him.

  That scared the shit out of me! Who was this woman he made me into? A woman who burned from his eyes on her skin, and quivering from the smocks left behind by his touch? This woman whose insides liquified at the sound of his voice, and the intense feelings clouding my mind.

  No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't figure out the answers. I tried to talk to Mel about it some, but I couldn't tell her everything that had happened between us.

  On top of feeling bad for keeping everything from her, I didn't think she would understand where I was coming from. Mel only knew the new me. The person I've become since I've moved to New York.

  Not the small town girl with no worldly experience. I needed someone who knew that Abbie Black to help me figure out how to deal with this new person before I cracked. I needed my Mom.

  With my mind made up, I focused on my last weeks of finals and classes. I called Mom the day before my last class to ask what her plans were for the holiday.

  I wanted to surprise her and just show up. I hadn't seen Mom in almost a year since I came back to campus last year. If she and Shawn have plans, I'd have to find a way to make him cancel.

  Thankfully, they both had the weekend off and were just going to stay in. So, early that Friday morning I loaded my bag in the trunk of my car, wished Mel a Merry Christmas, then headed out of New York back to Virginia.

  The miles seemed to slip by in a daze. The radio keeping me company until I finally pulled into the driveway in front of the small house my mother and I shared my whole life.

  The small two bedroom cottage wasn't much, but Mom always kept it in shape. The white and blue shutter paint was the last project we did together before my freshman year at NYU.

  The porch swing at the end was the only change. Shawn put it there for Moms birthday. Something she always wanted.

  It was late at night around eleven when I got to the house, but the lights were still on in the living room and kitchen. Even though I had a key, I knocked on the door instead of going in. This was the first time in my life my mom had a boyfriend. Even though we've FaceTimed, I didn't want to meet him in an embarrassing way.