Melioration ~ James Buchanan Barnes

O15 ~ Agony

Later you're in a silly Asgardian robe sitting on a luxurious chair in the room with a glass of classic Midgardian bourbon. You asked for it to a guard and he let a maid bring it to you. 

You look at the incredible view you have from your window and sigh with content. You had him all to yourself tonight. Finally. At first, you woke him up purely for the Scepter and that's still the case but you've got to admit that the moment you saw him, you wanted to have him. Even if it was for just one night. You can't fall in love with him and you haven't. It was and still is only physical. 

A painful groan spikes your attention and when you look over, you see how Bucky is grasping his head while talking literal nonsense. 'What's wrong?' You ask, placing your bourbon on the table and making your way over to Bucky. When you get closer you hear things like: 'You can't.. get away! It's not right.' 

'What's not right?' You ask, trying to be nice for once but when he sees you, his pupils immediately grow smaller. It's the same look he gets when he gets activated. 'Oh boy.' You mutter but before you can back away, he already grabs your throat and slams you against the wall. He lifts you up from the ground and leaves you dangling in the air, gasping for breath. 

'What have you done to me?!' He screams in your face and you're genuinely confused for a moment. 'Wh-What? What.. have.. I.. done?' You ask, your voice already hoarse and you struggle to talk because of your loss for air. 

'I'm.. feeling things!' He puts more pressure on your throat and seeming he's choking you with his metal arm, it's all with a lot more force. You smirk but see how your vision gets blurry. You want to say something but you can't. You don't have enough air. 

Luckily he drops you, making you cough while breathing fresh air again. 'You're not under my control anymore. The feelings you speak of, are from your own and not pushed into your system because I told you. This is all you, Bucky.' You explain, feeling some sort of pride. He has feelings for you and you find it quite adorable. 

'Who the hell is Bucky?' He asks through gritted teeth and he wants to pick you up again by your throat but you succeed in backing away this time. 'That's you! You wanted me to call you by a name from your past!' This is wrong. He is free but he doesn't remember anything! 

'This is so confusing! It hurts!' You grab his chin and look deeply into his eyes, seeing his pupils now changing from large back to small and the other way around. Oh God. You should have known. He has been activated too many times and he's now paying for it. 

'This is not what I wanted for you. To be honest, I didn't know you could be activated too many times.' You say, softly stroking his cheek with your thumb. 'I did this to you, so I should be able to fix you.' It's a soft mutter and more directed to yourself than to Bucky. But what can you do? 

Then an idea pops into your mind. If you could get him to focus on one thing at a time, maybe it will help him get the rest back. You now place your other hand on his other cheek, cupping his face gently before pressing your lips tenderly on his. Thanks to his new developed feelings for you, he kisses you back with a kind of hunger. Not lust like but more desperate for your love. You shouldn't fool yourself, he still sees you as the enemy but he has feelings for you. It's also one of the reasons why his mind is now fucked up like this. 

When you pull away, he just shakes his head while shutting his eyes tightly. A loud sigh rolls over your tongue but then a different idea comes up. Loki. He can help because he can get into someone's mind. You just need a way to get into the royal prisons. Or maybe stealing the Scepter will help. It has the mind-stone in it and that says enough. You can probably fix him up by using that stone on him. 

'Bucky, I've got an idea but I need you to help me with it. It was your original assignment that you got from me. We're going to steal the Scepter back because I can use that stone on you to clear your mind.' Again, this is not why you ever joined Hydra but your heart wants you to do the right thing now. Besides, you can't ever use him anymore if he stays like this. 

'This is how we're going to do it.' You start and sit down next to him on the bed. You start explaining to him what you have in mind and he seems focussed enough to do this with you. 'Will I finally be free after that? Or did you change your mind and will you put me back on ice?' You tilt your head a little and shake your head. 

'I'm not sure what I'm going to do with you.'