Melioration ~ James Buchanan Barnes

O19 ~ Shield

Getting to the Avengers tower is not hard but entering it is a whole different story. Because once they see yours and Bucky's face on the camera's, Tony, Clint, Natasha, Bruce and Steve are all lining up on the ground floor with their weapons pointed at you.

'Relax. We come in peace.' You sigh, raising your hands up in the air. 'What do you want?' Natasha grunts, ready to pull the trigger any second now. 'Bucky here wants to see Steve. His memories are coming back.' You tug him on his arm closer to you and you can see Steve's eyes light up. 

'Why should we trust you?' Clint now speaks up, his fingers wrapped around the arrow in his hand. 'If you want, you can search me and take my weapons away from me. I have no reason to kill you anymore. I lost the Scepter, I lost Hydra's trust and therefore am standing on their death list. Although that is also because I failed to follow protocol in putting Bucky back on ice. He's too much fun to keep around.' Your hand now lowers to grab his and you smile at him while leaning your weight into his side. 

'Oh my god..' Natasha shakes her head but then Tony nods and gestures for you both to step inside. 'Please, do tell us how you screwed up.' It's always nice to hear how your enemy fucks up. 'And leave no details behind.' He adds but you don't really pay attention anymore. All you can focus on is how Steve and Bucky embrace each other for the first time in a long time. Secretly you're glad you didn't make him kill Steve. 

In the break room, you plop down onto a chair and ask for a coffee. With a smug grin you watch how Clint prepares it for you. 'You want to know about my failures? Alright, here it comes. I guess it even started before I even woke Buck up.' You start and grab the cup from Clint. 

You tell them about the plans you had for Hydra, and for Shield for that matter but that once you had the Scepter in your possession, you wanted it all to yourself. You wanted to destroy everything and rule over what was left. 

You tell about Asgard, and how you screwed Loki over while you were there and left him in that prison. 'I really am a bad person.' You chuckle. 'You don't say.' Tony sarcastically says.

'Anyway, I'm not here to ask for your forgiveness because I know I'm not going to get it. I'm just here for Bucky and after that it's time for us to run.' Natasha snickers and looks intently at you. 'What makes you think we're not going to hand you over?' She says. 'You and your accomplice.' She adds, much to Steve's irritation. 

'Nat, that's not who we are. She came through with Bucky and risked everything by coming here. We're not handing them over to the enemy. Besides, Bucky is my friend.' You smugly grin at your ex-student. 

'Stay here for the night and leave tomorrow. What are the chances of Hydra knowing your current where-abouts?' You stare at Steve and shrugs. 'I think they have a strong idea.' He shakes his head. 'I don't think they do. They know you can't go back to Shield, so please. Stay. I insist.' You sigh and accept. 

'Fine. But if they come here, don't make me tell you that I told you so.' He smiles and nods. 'Noted.' 

A little while later, you walk around the living area which is also on the second floor. Your fingers are wrapped around a hot cup of tea and you stare mindlessly out of the window. Sometimes you wonder how you ended up like this? 

Why did you make the switch from good to evil? For more money? For a scientific job function? When you give it a little more thought, Hydra only used you to get to Shield and they succeeded with it. 

It's not that you want to re-join Shield. It's just that you don't know why you chose evil to begin with. Maybe you should just retire and live a normal life. Where Hydra can never find you, ever again. 

'What are you thinking about?' You turn around and see Steve there, just smiling at you. A genuine smile that you don't think you deserve. 'I'm contemplating my life. What made me do the things I did? For what? What was it good for? Why did I hurt so many people, why did I enjoy it? Why did I betray Nick? Why did I fight you? Most of all, why choose Hydra over all criminal organizations?' You sigh, avoiding his gaze. 

'Do you regret it?' It's a simple question which you don't really know the answer to. 'I don't know. Yes and no, I guess.' You turn back around to watch over the city again. He takes a place beside you and gently wraps his arm around you. 

'Just so you know, I forgive you and I'm happy you made the decision to come here.' You can't help but smile. 'I guess it had some sort of safe idea to it, even after being incarcerated here. And Bucky wanted to see you like old times and not to kill you.' You look at him. 'Sorry about that, by the way.' He chuckles and shakes his head. 'It's ok.' 

He leaves you to yourself again after him telling you where your room is. You get to share it with Bucky, as requested. It's a simple room, with just a double bed and a closet. Nothing else. 

A loud sigh escapes your lips as you walk into the room. Bucky isn't here, yet. In here, there is also a huge window that looks out over the city. As you see yourself in the reflection of the window, you feel tears burning behind your eyes.

All the questions from before come flooding back. Why? Just why did you give up something so wonderful for a wicked organization? Why did they succeed in making you feel unloved by Shield while in reality, they loved you to death. Why did you abandon love? 

Now with Bucky in your life, it's slowly starting to come back. You're confused, but you are more willing already than back in the prisons of Asgard. You're slowly letting love back into your life and you want Bucky more and more. 

'{y/n}?' You see Bucky entering the room in the reflection of the window. You hum softly in response. 'I thought I would find you here.' He says, coming over towards you and gently placing his hands on your hips. 

You wipe the tears away and turn around in his arms, allowing him to wrap your further into his strong arms. 'I'm sorry.' He shakes his head, pressing a kiss on your forehead. 'I know you are.' You wrap your arms strongly around him and rest your face on his chest. What are you two?

Two broken pieces, slowly melting into one.