Bye bye

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Goodbye,  for it is now time.  Time to go back to a time where I was happy.  A long distant time,  so far away, I can't decide if it was once real,  or just a product of my rampant and vine-like imagination.  I digress.  Yet I want to let go and give the peaceful rest that those I love need.  And yet I digress again.  I can't go.  This door is open,  but the gateway behind me might close,  leaving me trapped.  I would only be able to go forward,  which means putting a foot in front of the other.  Quite the task when you're  on the edge of a pale blue death,  glistening below me.  It's an inviting sight,  really. Why is blue such a cold color?  Cold like ice.  No movement. Stop. 

And yet again I digress. Then,  maybe there is a reason for this mental shortcut to appear time after time after time... 

I can't let go of you.  I need to talk to you.  I need to see you.  You,  the suffering I can only cherish.  The love of my life.  I can't  go now,  this would mean I wouldnt feel you again.  I just can't remember to forget you. 

I hate you with a passion.  I wish you hell,  and the deepest pit of despair. Tiny bugs cutting each of my limbs.  Because,  that's what it is. 

You and I,  we share a bond.  I cant die until you kill me,  and you won't let me go until I save you.  The funny thing is,  I'm both you and I.  I can't let myself go.  Not now.  That's why I only say Goodbye. I'll be back

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