I made my way up the pathway to mine and Michaels small apartment. It had been 2 weeks since he had caught Luke and I kissing, and a lot had happened in 2 weeks.
I had kissed Luke, not only once in the living room when Michael had caught us, but also the day after the argument.
My head was all over the place.
Did I love Michael? Yes
Did I have feelings for Luke? Yes.
But those were 2 completely different things. I felt 2 completely things when i was with them.
Michael made me feel safe, secure. He was gentle, loving, nurturing, kind the list goes on. He was the caring type, who always made sure i was okay, leaving me cute cards when i woke up. He was gentle and loving.
Luke however was the opposite. When i was with him, every nerve in my body was alert. Every hair stood on edge. He was powerful, dominating, thrilling. He made my heart want to rocket out of my chest as soon as he stepped closer to me, it was exciting. I had never felt that with anyone before, so on the edge, it was thrillingly dangerous.
I knocked on the small blue door, Michael and I had painted last summer. He said the blue was the perfect match to my eyes, and refused to paint it any other colour. A tight knotting pain formed in my chest as i recollected our memories. I swallowed hard as he opened the door.
"We need to talk" I said quickly. Michael stood there motionless, staring at me for a few seconds.
"Come in" He said blankly. I followed him through the door, closing it shut behind me. I hovered there for a second, till he gestured for me to sit on the chair opposite the couch.
"I don't know what you expect me to say to you Y/N?" Michael said, slouching in the arm chair.
"Are you still mad at me?"
"No"
"Are you sure?"
"I was never mad at you"
"What were you then?"
"Hurt" My stomach sank.
"You cheated on me with my best friend y/n" He spoke smally.
"I didn't want to cheat on you. It just sort of happened and i just- I-"
"You didn't just cheat on me, you cheated on us. You didn't just break my heart, you broke out future" Michael said hurt. You sat in the silence ashamed with yourself. "Remember those times we stayed up late, cuddled together under the covers, just staring at the ceiling making plans. Planned little bits of our future together." He was hurting and you hated it.
"I'm sorry"
"Yeah, well it's a little bit late for that, don't you think?"
You shuffled awkwardly in your chair.
"How comes you're here anyway? I thought you would've went back up to your parents house?" I felt my stomach drop. I couldn't tell him I'd been staying with Luke. I couldn't tell him, that the past 2 weeks I'd been with the guy I'd cheated on him with, but i couldn't lie to him either. I owed it to Michael to at least tell him the truth.
"I've err- I've been staying with Luke" I spoke whispering the end part, afraid of his reaction.
"Are you fucking kidding me" He moaned, leaning forward, elbows on his knees. "You are absolutely unbelievable"
"Michael it wasn't like that. I had nowhere else to go. I had no money no nothing. Luke just let me stay with him and the guys that's all"
"So whilst you've been loving it up with Lukey" He mocked spitefully "I've been sitting home here, fucking hurting and you don't even give a shit"
"I do give a shit Michael that's why I'm here"
"I didn't hear you denying loving it up with him" Michael accused. "Have you?"
"Michael look-"
"HAVE YOU?" He cut you off shouting, making you jump in your chair. "Just tell me the truth!"
"We've kissed again"
"Unbelievable, fucking unbelievable" He muttered under his breath.
"I'll pack all of your things and have Calum or Ash bring them over later or something. There's a spare bed there, or by the sounds of things you won't be needing it as you'll be sharing with Luke"
"Michael don't, don't do this"
"ME? ME? You're telling me not to do this. Y/N, you've kissed him again, whilst I've been sitting here listing all the things i could've done wrong to drive you away. I haven't slept properly for days, fucking sick to my stomach believing all of this was my fault, but you, you, you've been quite alright haven't you, hooking up with him!" Michael shouted.
"I'm sorry Michael, i never wanted this to happen"
"Did you ever even love me?" He interjected quickly looking up at you.
"Of course i did!"
"Well clearly not as much as i loved you, because you don't destroy the people you love y/n. You just don't" He sighed loudly. "Just answer my questions, i need to know. Do you have feelings for him? In any way? Do you?"
I paused for a second. "Yes" I breathed "I have feelings for Luke, but they're not as strong as my feelings for you"
"That makes it okay does it?"
"I never said it did, you asked a question i answered it"
"I clearly can't be what you're looking for, because if i was, hooking up with him wouldn't even be an option" He ran his hands through his hair."I'm done with this. With you. With him. With everything"
"No Michael please, please"
"I'm done with you Y/N. I may be a fool in believing i could trust you, but i want play the fool twice and take back a cheater." he turned his head down quickly, i wasn't 100% sure, but i swore i saw a tear slip before he wiped it away quickly. "It's over. I think that's what best for both of us. you and Luke can have your little happy ending, whilst i need to find a way to fucking wipe you out of my life completely."
"I'm sorry Michael"
"Just leave please" He stood up walking towards the door. I fumbled in my bag, blinking away the tears.
"Key" I said handing him the key to our apartment. I took one final glance around, before turning back to him.
"I really am sorry Michael"
"Me too Y/N, Me too"
