Things That Only Happen To Me

Not Feeling Like Myself

Do you ever speak to someone you love but have to force a smile? Well, I do. I have come to the conclusion, my personality is so contradictory that it has two separate halves. The first is my perferred self.

She is a loving, supportive, insecure, happy, patient, sensitive, non-binary, 'mother'. She complains about periods, bras, and other feminine crap. She likes her hair long because it keeps her ears warm in the winter. She's often scared or confused, referred to as pure or naive.

She gets nervous around adults, she's truamatized by things that would rather not be stated. She hates who she used to be and hopes to strive to be a better person.

Then there is me. The analytical, depressed, easily annoyed, intelligent, and cold hearted. It is normal for people to joke about their heart, but mine is frozen over. I feel no sympathy, though she guides me in the "correct" direction.

Though normally she is in charge, there are moments when she gets tired and I am pushed into the driver's seat. I can still feel her influence, I can feel tears coming to my eyes. Though, emotion wise, I feel nothing. Physically, I am feeling a swelling in my throat.

I come out when she's over run with emotions, despite that not being healthy for us. Speaking of us, I know we aren't a multiple personality disorder, I can remember what she does and she can remember what I do.

We have attempted to form a codependent relationship with each other. Unfortunately, we have one thing in common, we're independent. This has an interesting effect on our combined self, the one that writes for you. Luna.

Luna.

Luna.

Luna.

I'm starting to feel like myself again, thank you for a chance at getting that off my chest. It felt almost too natural to write about me like that, but hey. I analyze more than the world around me!

Well, is probably going to be one of my weirder chapters, hope you enjoy reading about my life!