Secret

Chapter 12

[Bella's pov]

Chapter 12

"I'm moving." he suddenly says.

"What?" I don't think I heard him clearly.

"I'm moving." he repeats and my heart drops.

"When?" I ask, feeling dizzy.

"In a week." he answers and I feel like vomiting everywhere as soon as the words leave his mouth.

"Why? Where?" I question.

"I don't know. My parents said something about college but I have no idea where I'm going; I think-"

I cut him off by wrapping my arms around his waist and hugging him tightly. I already miss him. I had the sudden urge to hug him and I couldn't help myself. He wraps his arms around my back and I feel my body relax.

"I'm going to miss you so much." I admit. I don't even feel like trying to cover up my feelings for him now.

"Me t-"

"Don't you dare say the word 'too'. I don't want you to agree with me, I want you to miss me back. I mean, you don't actually understand how much I mean it when I say I'm going to miss you as much as I am." I blurt all at once, not knowing if it really made sense.

"I'm going to miss you Bella. A lot." he finally says, resting his chin on my head.

There's a small silence but it's actually comforting as we stand there, not moving.

"I need to go home." I finally say. "Okay." he answers but doesn't disengage our hug.

"Oh man, who's going to walk me to first period now?" I joke a little bit. "You could ask Naomi." he chuckles and I feel the vibration of his voice with my head on his chest. "Ew, in her dreams." I reply and we both laugh.

We finally pull away from the hug and he looks down at me. "This isn't goodbye, okay?" he says, "Promise me."

"Okay."

"Good."

"You were supposed to say okay', now you've gone and ruined the moment." I roll my eyes with a smile. "The world is going to come crashing down now isn't it?" he chuckles. "Shut up, I was trying to have a Hazel and Augustus moment and you ruined it!" I joke and poke his chest. "I love the effort, but I'm not doing that. I haven't even seen that dumb chick flick." he cracks a smile.

"Okay, it's not a chick flick. And you've done it before, except with a different word!" I exclaim. "When?" he asks and I pause.

"Stop distracting me." I pout.

"I'm not." he justifies. "Yes, you are! You're leaving in a week and you're here making me crazy like always." I say.

It's quiet again and I shake my head. "I need to go." I grab my backpack and keys and head downstairs as Harry follows.

He opens the door for me, but grabs my arm before I can walk out.

"Me too." he says.

"What?" I ask, having no idea what he's talking about.

"You make me crazy too."

***

I try to do my schoolwork, sitting at my desk, but since Friday, when Harry told me he was moving, I just feel so distracted and overwhelmed.

Suddenly I find myself calling him and he picks up on the fourth ring.

"Hello?"

"Um hi, I...I need to talk to you." I stutter.

"Okay, talk." he says. "No, in person." I tell him.

"Okay...did you want to meet up or something?"

"Yeah, uh, is the park...the one across the street from your house, is that okay?" I ask.

"Sure," he confirms in a slightly confused tone.

*

I sit on a bench next to Harry as I swing my feet back and forth nervously. "Okay, I'm just going to get this over with..." I mumble. "You're moving and it sucks and I just need to tell you that I like you, okay, like more than a friend. I like you a lot, Harry." I admit. I wait for his response as I look at my feet.

There is quite a long silence before he finally speaks.

"Look," he sighs, "I wasn't trying to lead you on or anything, I really wasn't, and I promise I won't ever do it again. I know you like me Bella, but please, stop."

My insides twist and it feels as if the floor has fallen from under my feet. I feel so many emotions creep up to the surface at once, not knowing which one is going to blow up first.

"You weren't trying to lead me on, really? Because that's exactly what you were doing. Everybody thought you liked me, Harry; even I thought you liked me...You were always leading me on, flirting with me." I yell, "It hurts that you tell me to just drop these feelings because it's not that simple you ignorant ass! I really like you but I guess if you don't feel the same and expect me to just stop liking you then we shouldn't even talk anymore because honestly, every word that comes out of your mouth makes me fall for you that much more. You had always led me on. I'm just done." I tell him, my voice almost cracking.

"Listen, it's better for both of us, trust m-"

"No, shut up with that bullshit. It's not better for the both of us."

"It will save us both a lot of hurt." he says and I don't really know what to feel.

"Okay, shut the hell up. It's not going to 'save me any hurt'. In fact, it just hurts more. And you don't even have any hurt to save, Jesus!"

I'm on the verge of breaking into sobs but I don't want to cry in front of him right now. He doesn't say anything, but just stares at me. I wipe loose tears and look back at him. "Whatever, it's whatever. Take care of yourself when you move, alright?"

"Okay." he replies blankly.

"Bye Harry."

"Bye." he says stiffly, not even addressing me by my name. He gets up from the bench and walks back across the street to his house and I swear that any physical act of violence upon me could never hurt more than the pain I had just experienced.

That honestly wasn't anything like I had expected it to go. I mean I knew he wasn't going to want to date me or anything but this was like a total rejection.

I mean, there had to be a reason, he couldn't want to just cut me off like that, right?

*

"He's probably gone by now." I told Elisa over the phone. She let out a big sigh on the other end. "But how could he just turn you down like that? It really seemed that he liked you." she wonders out loud. "I don't know. He said something about wanting to 'save us hurt' which is complete bullshit because how would it hurt him at all? He doesn't even want to accept my feelings, let alone feel the same about me." I explain.

"Oh my God! Don't you see what he's doing? He's pretending he doesn't like you. Bella, moving away from you is killing him! How did you not figure that out?" she shouts. "Because it's not true! At least, it doesn't seem like it at all."

"I guess Harry's a good actor then?"

"Okay, stop. He isn't pretending to not like me because he doesn't at all." I pout.

"Well, whatever. I guess it's for the better or the worse. We'll see what happens, don't worry." Elisa reassures me.

"I guess."