Breathless | HakJoon ✅

Inhale

I quietly took notes as the teacher wrote on the board. My throat itched and the need to cough was high. I tried not to be too audible with it and hoped no one would look at me. I didn't want their pity filled stares. They made me feel like a helpless creature just because I lost my ability to speak. I looked over at Jacob who seemed to have been eyeing me in his peripheral vision. The place I once loved to be in became a place I despised.

"Hey, got lunch?" I shook my head then wrote my response. "Ah, I'll get us a table then." Jacob had taken off and then I felt someone bump into me. "Ah, sorry. Didn't notice you there." I looked to my side and saw that it was Haknyeon. I wanted to tell him everything was fine, but I was instantly reminded of my impairment. "I'm sorry. I'll get going." I held him back as I wanted to somehow communicate with him. I suddenly had an idea and hoped it worked. "It's fine, Haknyeon. By the way, this is Hyunjoon." He seemed confused by the voice, but that was to be expected.

"This isn't Hyunjoon's voice, but..." He started touching me and moved a bit closer. "O-Oh..." He suddenly backed up and cleared his throat. "I need to get going." He rushed off before I could say anything else. I wanted to chase after him, but Sunwoo had come up behind me and dragged me into the cafeteria.

"What took you so long? And why were you looking down the hall?" I sighed as I wrote it all down and picked at my food. "What? He really felt you up and down?" I nodded then started blushing. I had wanted him to keep his hands on me as his touch was gentle. It was as if he was touching something delicate, fragile even. "Joon." I snapped out of my thoughts and looked at where Jacob was pointing. "Haknyeon? What's he looking for..." He then whispered to one of his friends who started guiding him towards us.

"And we're here." "Thank you, Jaehyun." I shifted closer to Sunwoo who simply pushed me back to my spot. "Hyunjoon." I took out my phone and typed in what I wanted to say. "Yes?" "I don't know what exactly happened to you that you won't speak, but I hope I get to hear your voice again." I felt tears sting my eyes as I wished for the same thing every day, knowing that I probably never will. "I want to hear it again as well. Thank you for your concern." He left our table with Jaehyun and I felt a void forming inside of me. I wanted him.

I scribbled in my notebook as I thought about Haknyeon. His contagious smile when he's happy. His beautiful laugh that rings in your ears. The way he seems content with how his life is despite being disabled. I now understood the pain of those who are disabled. Not being able to do what others can hurt as you're either pitied for it or left out. "In Haknyeon's case all he's ever gotten was pity..." I wanted my normal life back, but I already knew that could never be achieved. Not even with therapy.