You and I

Chapter Four

Yu Hao collapsed in his bed, his eyebrows creased in thought.

No longer did his house smell like a broken bachelor lived there, since Zhen Wen had sent someone to clean it up. It now looked and smelled like a healthy person lived there.

Yu Hao glanced at the poster tacked to the wall beside his bed. It read, "know pain, know gain". It was his favourite quote.

He could hardly focus on the words, because his mind was cluttered with the stupid, smart-ass looking smile of Zi Xuan. Yu Hao seriously wanted to punch that guy.

He sighed, rolling over to face the opposite wall. It wasn't fair that Zi Xuan had everything. How was he so good with kids? And so well mannered, patient. And, Yu Hao had to admit, inexplicably handsome.

But he was so... so.... Yu Hao couldn't even think of why Zi Xuan pissed him off so much. It was something else that pissed him off about Zi Xuan.

The evil, nagging voice in his head was coming to play.

I think I know why I'm so angry with this guy...

Yu Hao shook the thought away, trying to ignore the idea that came to his head. He didn't actually like Zi Xuan, did he? No, no way. He rolled his eyes.

He could never like a man. With so much experience with women, how could he ever be attracted to someone of the same gender? He laughed out-loud, beginning to talk to himself.

"I guess I must be hanging around with Zhen Wen too much. He's rubbing off on me." He laughed again, feeling silly. "How could I like a man? Men don't have... breasts. Or places to put your dick." He nodded to himself, pretending he didn't just correct himself in his head. "Yeah... and Zi Xuan... such a loser, blushing over me. Fucking... fucking..."

For the life of him, Yu Hao couldn't think of another insult. But he was able to think of Zi Xuan's button up coming up slightly over his stomach when he reached to spike the ball.

He sat up straight. That is enough! He thought, silencing the voices in his head. Standing up from the bed, he walked to the kitchen, boiling water for tea.

He shuffled slightly in his hoodie, confused at why he thought this way about Zi Xuan. It puzzled him. He never even thought this way about a real gay man.

What the hell was Zi Xuan doing to make him think this way?

•••

Zi Xuan closed the door to his apartment, hands shaking. Today he had met his favourite volleyball player, the guy he had a crush on since he turned twenty. He had tried his best to let go of it, to ignore him and move on, but it was never easy. He had never dreamed of meeting him, nonetheless having Xia Yu Hao as his assistant coach.

Zi Xuan did not consider himself gay, because he had never been attracted to any other guy. It was only Yu Hao that had his heart.

He had dated a couple girls through high school, but had ended all the relationships before college. He preferred to focus on his studies, and abandoned thinking about anyone as a serious partner.

He was now 27 years old. It had been so, so, long since he felt this way, and he could hardly stand it. His heart clenched, thinking about how he was such a fumbling idiot today. It didn't help that the usually rude and unbearable Yu Hao had been kind to him, even offering to massage his knee when it was hurt.

Taking a sharp breath in, Zi Xuan tried to set himself back on the right track. He knew that Yu Hao was straight... very straight, to be frank. He could never fall for a man, especially not a guy like Zi Xuan, who saw himself basic and plain as a boil of rice with no sauce.

When Zi Xuan saw Yu Hao as a six course meal. He would go far for Yu Hao. He would truly do anything for him.

He shook his head, trying to focus. His little sister would be back from university soon, and he wanted to have dinner made before she came back.

He took a medley of ingredients out of the fridge, opting to make a shrimp stir fry. Zi Xuan was not a great cook, but he was better than Qian Rui, and so he cooked for the both of them. His mind wondered as he fried shrimp and scallions: was Yu Hao a good cook?

He imagined waking up from a nap to a nicely cooked dinner and a kiss on the lips. He imagined Yu Hao staring at him from across the table, eyes wandering. He imagined leaning over that table and stripping Yu Hao of his clothes, taking him then and there.

He groaned, smelling burnt shrimp and slightly aroused when his little sister walked in the door.

"Hey." She smiled shortly at him, walking through the door quickly, a bigger guy following her through.

"Hey." He squinted at the guy through his circle rimmed classes. He was foreign, blond haired with pale, creamy skin. His eyes were blue, and big, unlike Zi Xuan, who's eyes were brown and tiny. "Who's this?"

She smile, seemingly embarrassed. "This is my new boyfriend, George." He rolled his eyes. Qian Rui had a new boyfriend every week, for goodness sake.

"George?" He scoffed, his accent betraying him in saying the very English name. "Where is he from?"

"He's an exchange student from Europe." She nodded, grabbing his arm. "C'mon, let's go..."

"Not so fast." Zi Xuan stopped the odd couple.

'George' seemed to finally grow a pair of balls. He straightened up, looking much taller than Zi Xuan. "Sir, please. I promise I have only good intentions with your daughter..."

Daughter? "She's my sister. And what well-intentioned guy lets Qian Rui lead him right to her bedroom?" He shook his head. "Guess I'll eat this alone."

She shrugged. "Whatever. Smells burnt anyway."

He cracked a smile, nodding at her and George.