You and I

Chapter Twelve

Zi Xuan was hurt by Yu Hao's outburst. He was unable to sleep all night, laying on the couch and aimlessly scrolling through Instagram. He felt like he had lost a lover, and even thinking about one thing Yu Hao had said made his ears red in embarrassment. He had no idea Yu Hao thought of him like that.

At 4:30 am, he packed up his swim bag and drove to his favourite pool. He liked it because the change rooms were always very clean, and the pool was full Olympic length of 50 meters, with ten lanes.

Public swimming was open, and besides lifeguards and really committed swimmers. Zi Xuan had a public lane all to himself.

Swimming was important to him. When he had gotten injured, it was the only thing he could do. For a while he was angry, so he took that anger out on the water. He couldn't use his legs, so he just used his arms.

At points it was tiresome. Getting up at who-the-hell-knows-when o'clock to pull himself through a pool, but it was the only way he knew how to express himself. He wasn't like Yu Hao, drinking and cursing and blaming others. He always blamed himself, and so he would take it out on himself.

The pool was his safe place. As soon as that silicone cap was placed over his head, and the black goggles blocked out the rest of the world, he was unstoppable.

But this morning, he swam slowly. Instead of pace sets or sprint practice, Zi Xuan swam distance. Distance was tough. After 200 meters, he was out of breath. After 500, his shoulders burned. After 900, so did his legs. And his lungs. And his heart. And then his eyes.

He stopped at the wall, pulling the goggles off with a pop and grabbing his water bottle. As he drank, he thought carefully about what Yu Hao had said. Now that his mind was clear from emotion, he let the words raw him down to the heart.

"Do you know how fucking hard it is to be around you all the time?" The words echoed in his head, making him sigh. "It's fucking unbearable."

He had never meant to rub Yu Hao this way. Had he always come off as rude and full of himself? He wondered if that's what everyone thought of him.

Zi Xuan knew he wasn't perfect. In no sense was he perfect, or had ever been perfect. He just happened to find something he was good at, that's all.

Maybe he had tried too hard to impress Yu Hao, and instead of inspiring and helping him, he had been too showy. For sure, that was it. And tonight, he probably took it too far, especially with the spot on the couch thing.

Zi Xuan put his water bottle down, pulling his goggles back on and pushing off the wall. He would apologize to Yu Hao the next day at work. Right now, all he wanted to do, was swim.

•••

Yu Hao slammed the door to the apartment, turning around and punching the wall, hard enough it went through the drywall, revealing a huge hole.

Most men would stop there, knowing they were too angry. But not Xia Yu Hao.

"Fuck Zi Xuan! Fuck his perfect fucking goddamn fucking ugly face! Fuck his goddamn fucking talent! Fuck his goddamn fucking voice, his fucking hair, his fucking...." Yu Hao's chest heaved angrily. "I hate that fucking bitch-ass guy! I hate him!"

Twisting around, Yu Hao punched the wall again, leaving another mark. He kicked it, seething with burning rage that seemed to consume every muscle in his body, controlling his movements. "I hate Zi Xuan's fucking stupid ass! I hate that I'm in love with a fucking man!"

He screamed the last part, kicking the wall once more before falling to the floor in dismay, his knuckles bleeding, as he began to cry heartily.

That was the first time he had admitted it aloud. But it was true, and like any thing true it needed to be said before it hurt anyone.

But Yu Hao was already hurt. Anyone that walked in at that second could tell. The young athlete's eyes were red as he sobbed onto the floor, and his blood seeked more white clothing to stain.

Xia Yu Hao was in love with a man. He knew people could make thousands of dollars if they wrote news on it. He knew people who could feed their family for years if this story ever got out.

For now, he needed to pretend it wasn't happening. Standing up, he went to the sink, running water over his bleeding hand, using his other one to click on the call button on his phone.

The girl picked up with the first ring. "Yu Hao? Why are you calling me? It's so late." Yawned s voice on the other end, but he knew she hadn't been sleeping.

"You know why I called you." The other end was silent, but he could hear music loudly. "Bring all the drugs you have. And condoms. I want you." His voice changed from desperate to seductive.

He heard her pause, but then she spoke. "I'm on my way now."

He hung up, pulling his hand from the sink and groaning. It was going to be a long night.

A/N: oooooooooh.

I had my first competition of the season today. I did pretty well so I decided to publish! Do you think they should get together soon?

Vote/comment!

Love you all!