Stigma | KTH ✔

25 | Slumber Party

Dear god.

This chapter was like supposed to be short and light-hearted but I turned it into a goddamn monster -- AGAIN. I guess 7.5k words makes up for not updating for like 2 months? x'3 Ugh, I promised myself after rewriting chapter 13 that I will NEVER write a longass chapter like that ever again -- but here we are (((: So make sure you got time, because this will take a while.

Okay, so I initially planned a more dramatic chapter for this one but I felt like we lacked some friendship moments between Bangtan and the girls. So here I bring you a fun little chapter that turned out wayyy longer than I had planned it to be, and some very juicy drama will be delivered in the next chapter instead. Sorry again for the long wait! ):

♣ ♣ ♣

I ended up never telling Taehyung about the kiss -- at least not yet.

Confiding in Jimin had been an unexpected action, though it almost felt like it had been years since the last time I felt this relieved. However, I wish it was Areum I had told everything to and not Jimin, but he had caught me in a very sensitive state and I couldn't help but opening up to him that evening. Thankfully, he promised not to spill any tea about mine and Taehyung's secret 'relationship', if you now can even call it that.

That's probably the reason why I won't tell him in the first place; we're not in a relationship. This fact is probably the one that breaks me the most, though there is no one else to blame except myself on this one. I knew what was waiting for me if I let him in; which is not knowing where I have him, if this is only temporary for him. I've begin to wonder if all this is worth the silent agony that's slowly starting to rage within me. Only time will tell, it seems.

However, I was surprised to how supportive and understanding Jimin was. He didn't seem to judge me at all -- it was rather the opposite. I hadn't realized how much I needed to get these feelings out of my system.

"Taehyung is a complicated person. I'm pretty sure even he doesn't know how to handle everything going on between the two of you, either. Don't be surprised if he does something stupid, though, but don't let it get to you. You have to be cautious and take it slow, because this is new to him, too," Jimin had said to me. I've been processing his words a lot and eventually came to a conclusion.

Be cautious and take it slow. I can do that.

I know that we have to talk about it sooner or later, but I'm so afraid that he will leave me if we have two different views on what's going on between us. I guess I'm just not ready to hear him saying out loud that we're nothing more than a fling.

While internally going back and forth if I should tell him or not, a week quickly passed by and I found it more and more difficult to find a good timing to talk about it. The guilt was slowly eating me up from the inside for each day and I knew that if I keep waiting like this, the chances of him reacting in a negative way are increasing rapidly. I can mentally feel myself digging my grave deeper and deeper for each day of not telling him.

But before I drop the bombshell on him, I know that I have to open up to Areum first and tell her about our secret relationship. So that's why I've invited her over during the weekend, since my parents are away on a brief business trip outside town. Which is something I kind of didn't tell Taehyung, since he would probably beg me to death that he should stay over the entire weekend -- but I honestly just needed some time alone with my best friend along with tons of ice cream and pizza.