Undesirable

Chapter 2

After about an hour, I needed Sydney to drive the rest of the way. The game made me exhausted and I didn't want to be a bore at my first party ever. I stared out the window for awhile before eventually falling asleep. I couldn't keep my eyes open.

Eventually I could feel my car come to a stop, and my eyes slowly open, "We're here, Tess." Sydney said. Putting the car in park and unbuckling her seatbelt. She looked more ready for a party than I did, where more skimpy clothes, where I just look... comfortable.

I unbuckle my seatbelt as well, and Sydney looked at me, "Maybe lose the sweater. I know you're wearing that cute cropped sure underneath." She smiled.

I like my sweater, I don't want to take it off. It's comfortable and I feel good in it. Alas, this is Sydney's expertise, So doing what she suggest is probably the greatest idea for me. I took the sweater off and draped it over my arms, exiting the vehicle.

I looked at my surroundings and noticed so many cars. We were kind of in the middle of nowhere, this big house sitting on probably thousands of acres. The grass suddenly used as a parking lot. "This isn't a celebratory party for East high at all, is it?" I asked.

"Not even close, only a couple of people from East High are here. This is a college party, T. You have to pretend you belong, or you could get kicked out cause no one wants to get caught giving minors alcohol and they can't ID everyone."

Great, more reasons for me to be anxious. Not only do I have to now look and act the part; I'm not going to know anyone here. I can feel my heart race out of my chest, and my blood pressure rise. This is the same feeling I get right before the game. It's unfamiliar to me in the essence of a diagnoses. I know I have anxiety but this makes it feel like I'm struggling to breathe.

I just have been telling myself to pretend this feeling isn't real and push it down. I don't think it helps but I'd like to think that.

We walk up the stairs and can hear the music blaring. There's no way this is legal. Sydney said something but I couldn't make it out with the music, I was going to pull her off to the side to hear what she said but she disappeared so quickly.

Act like you belong.

I looked around and observed everyone around me, the red solo cups in their hands letting the music take over their bodies. I need alcohol it seems to let loose. I could feel myself being so tense over being here. I walked up the stairs in the house where I could see all the people getting their round of alcohol. I've never had alcohol before. I'm not sure how it taste, whether it's like the movies where it burns, taste gross, or is really good.

I wonder if that's why my brother couldn't stop.

"You look familiar." I stopped in my tracks, frozen. It was the stranger that was at my school today. The guy that made me feel like my heart was going to explode out my chest. "I wanted to relax." I said as I red the red solo cup and filled it with the alcohol in the tin barrel. I turned around looking him in the eyes; God his eyes were hypnotic.

"Aren't you a high schooler?" He asked, "That's where we first met, of course."

"No. I just do assistant coaching sometimes at East high, I'm taking a gap year." I slightly smiled. Man, I'm on a roll with this lying. I downed the first round of alcohol, and about four more cause I couldn't feel the affect. My chest still felt tight.

2 hours went by and it felt like 10 minutes. "Stop you didn't actually!" I laughed and slapped his knee playfully. I feel my body wanting to escape from its shell. Practically a numbness. "No I actually stripped down naked. They dared me to and I never back down from a dare." He said.