Undesirable

Chapter 7

Chapter 7

I couldn't do anything but cry. I've spent every day the last week and a half, crying. It wasn't because it felt like me and Collin were broken up, it wasn't because he abandoned me. It was because I felt so alone. Every day I practiced volleyball, and everyday I felt more guilty, that I shouldn't be a mother. I don't deserve this. I don't deserve anything.

Nick hasn't answered my calls, and Sydney is always busy. My parents, I can tell are trying to figure out what's wrong with me.

I think it's the hormones. At least that's what the internet says.

"Tessa." I hear my father say from outside my door.

Crap.

I just threw up nothing, and I ran out of pads, but they were all bloodless, so hopefully my mom isn't psycho enough to look. I can't think of why my father is knocking on my door right now.

Does he know?

"Tessa, let me in please."

"I don't wanna talk right now, dad." I said opening the door, wiping the tears away from my own eyes. "I just want to be left alone, please." I said.

When I opened the door I noticed a bottle of Ginger ale in his hands, and a mint. "I heard you this morning. Maybe you should just stay home from school today."

"I really would, but I can't miss today, I have to go to Montana tomorrow which means I'm already going to miss school. I'm fine I promise, and with this." I grabbed the ginger ale and mint from him, "I'm gonna be even better. Thanks Dad!" I smiled.

"Are you sure you're okay, your eyes are super red. Have you been crying."

I looked at him, "Gotta get ready for school talk to you later okay." And shut the door. I went back to lay down in my bed and wallow.

I went opened my phone for the first time this morning and noticed I had a text notification.

You better be out of your bed in five minutes

That was 3 minutes ago from Sydney.

I'm sad because a mistake I made has blown up in my face more then I expected it too. I thought Collin wasn't going to be happy about me being pregnant, but would take action. But he isn't he's just like every guy I've ever heard about from Sydney and a million other people.

I'm sad because Collin used me. I gave him my virginity and it's been thrown into my face. I can't believe after all this time telling myself I was going to save myself for the right person, save myself for marriage. Might not be for religious reasons but out of self respect for me I was going to wait.

"You're getting your ass out of bed and coming to school. The girl that's going to win us the national title is not going to wallow in her bed over some stupid person. Get up."

I moaned and groaned as she grabbed my arm and pulled me out of my bed. I sat there and lied on the floor. She left me there and went to my closet, grabbing a sweater shirt, and my furry leggings since the snow is piling on.

Tomorrow is the day we arrive, it's game day as well as my 17th birthday. I've never dreaded my birthday more than I have for this one. My 18th birthday I'll have a child. That's about the only thing guaranteed for next year unless of course I miscarry.

"Put these on." She said giving me a whole outfit. Her style and my style is different, and in no way would I ever get this dressed up for school. It's crazy how unmotivated I feel, even when Jason died I didn't feel this depressed and I was deeply saddened about it.