Undesirable

Chapter 3

All the girls were sitting on the floor, getting their kneepads on just freshly waking up. It was 5:15 on a crisp November morning. It was freezing, to put it bluntly. None of us wanted to be here but we had to. The championship was five weeks away, and we had to practice like no other. This is going to be the biggest win of our lives and if we lose our title we've held for 5 years, we'd become a joke.

Today was a public scrimmage game with one of the other teams who needed more practice so my coach agreed to a game. I didn't think it was the greatest idea since it could permit unwanted injury or even discouragement. A lot of the Freshmen girls have a mind set that it's easy just because we haven't lost a single game. That they don't need to practice. But it's everything for us to practice. There's no guarantee that our statistics are going to give us a win.

I'm surprised honestly, that I've managed to live my life as if nothing about me has changed. My virginity was my whole identity. Life is insanely unbalanced right now. My parents are quiet, not wanting to talk very much after the party. But I think they're just stressed because of Nik, he's supposed to be getting out of rehab soon and we haven't seen him in a year or so.

The last time I saw him, I was hugging him with tears in my eyes telling him goodbye. He looked so sick and seeing him like that was so scary. My brother had the biggest future in front of him and he let it all go. He had a scholarship to UCLA, Harvard, Washington state university. All for his amazing high school football career. But once Jason died, he threw it away for drugs and alcohol, like I mentioned before. None of us expected Nik of all people to get involved in that. That was Jason's thing. Band boy.

The last 50 minutes of practice was a struggle for me. I was distracted.

I disappeared from that Collin guy and it's been a quiet 3 weeks. I've spent everyday just imagining what he could be feeling or thinking. What a pathetic way to spend my time.

"Tessa could you stay back after practice?" Coach asked. I of course obliged and after I put everything away a flung my bag over my shoulder I walked over to Jess, our coach.

"Is everything okay?" She asked.

I stared at her for a minute, I don't even know if I blinked, "Yeah, I think so," I smiled, "Why?"

"I don't really have an explanation as to why, I just noticed you were kind of off." She said, "You didn't participate in practice much."

My smile turned into a slight frown, "I'm just a bit tired, practicing two times a day in the morning and after school is just putting its wear on me." I laughed.

"I get it. I just want all of us to secure the win, Montana doesn't play nice." She said.

"I believe we can do it." I said, leaving the building together. Sydney waiting outside the gym for me, since we always go to breakfast together before starting our long boring day of assignments. Our academics right before thanksgiving is really dumb, there's really nothing for us to do but things based off of thanksgiving. Mostly socializing or studying for tests for when we come back a couple days later.

"Sooo..." Sydney spit out at the cafeteria table, "are you ever going to tell me what happened at the party." She smiled.

I stared at her spinning my spoon in the Frosted Flakes I haven't even eaten yet. "There was nothing that happened. I got drunk that's it. I've already gotten in plenty of trouble for that from my mom and dad." In frustration I took a bite of the cereal I didn't feel like eating.

I feel the tight chest again, and the heart beating like it's going to explode.

"By that you just don't remember, or?"