Undesirable

Chapter 8

It's game day.

I've been on the court since 6 this morning. I'm nervous we're going to lose. Over 5,000 people are here to watch their favorite team win. The last time we saw Montana they were scary good.

"You should get some rest Tessa. I know you didn't sleep last night." My coach said. I was setting it was 9 AM precisely 6 hours before our game.

"I can't." I replied, "everyone is looking at our team to win." I said still bumping, setting and passing to myself against the wall.

"You're gonna burn yourself out before the game."

I stopped, turned to actually look at coach. "My mom is coming. She's never been to any of my games. There's a lot of stress on me."

She placed each hand on each of my shoulder. "Breathe or gonna have another anxiety attack. You do not need to place all the burden on yourself, Tessa. We are a team and we will always have your back." She smiled.

Sometimes I forget that I'm not the only person people are relying on. Sometimes I forget I'm apart of a team. I don't know what I'd do without Leah as my coach. She's almost like the supportive mother I don't have. She roots us all on with our strengths and helps us with our weaknesses.

"You're gonna do great, and there's about 5 hours before our game and I think you should get some rest because if you don't you really will burn yourself out."

I looked at the clock, and then back at Leah, who I knew was right.

"Fine I'll take a short nap. I have to be up before my parents get here." I smiled, placing the ball on the ground and taking the 8 minutes to walk back to my hotel Room. Conveniently enough it was silent and my roomie was gone. I'm pretty beat from training for the last four hours.

I closed my eyes for what pretty much felt like a couple of minutes. My alarm was blaring which forced me out from my bed to hit the dismiss button.

I braided my hair and put the red ribbon at the end of the braid to get festive with our last game we hopefully win. I hope this is our time, I hope we win. We've practiced day in and day out since last season. I really need this, something in my life to go right you know.

Please tell me why this is become more important then my own health, then the health of this baby that rests in my tummy.

I gather all of my things needed for the game into my backpack and leave the room, heading out towards the lobby and walking into the gymnasium. The crowds are starting to form and my parent's will be here to watch my game, my whole family will be. Sydney will be here too, she's gonna be the loudest one of them all and I love it.

I reached into my bag to grab my medication as I was starting to get anxious I could fill it in my chest, the lack of oxygen I was feeling, my heart, beating to run out of my chest and the headache throbbing through my temples. I was stressed out.

I felt panicked not being able to find my pill bottle. Where could they be, why were they not in my bag? In the locker room I removed everything from my bag, my pills aren't in here.

"Yo, Tessa what's going on?" Carmella asked. It probably looked chaotic as my stuff was all over the bench but I'm working myself up now that I'm stressed I can't find those pills.

"My anxiety pills I can't find them!" I said, "They're always right here in this pocket!" I must've left them in the hotel, there's no other explanation as to where they could be.

"Whatever, I just will have to let it go." I breathed in through my nose and let it out of my mouth a couple of times, as well as counted backwards from 100. Letting my mind focus on something else other then the anxiety I was currently feeling.