Your Song (Shawn Mendes)

Chapter 23

Shawn hated himself. He didn't know how it got to this point but it did. He had come back from his few days in New York to attend the MET Gala just that night. Maria had opted to stay home as she was still moving into the condo after their one year anniversary and had been feeling a bit ill. So he decided to go with Hailey Baldwin as friends considering neither had a 'date' for the event.

But the press has a mind of its own.

The whole night was a blur but he does distinctly remember the first thing she told him when he walked in. 

"Did you sleep with her?"

It was the biggest fight they've had in their entire relationship. They were both screaming at each other and he can barely cobble together a few remarks from the night. 

"I haven't given you anything? Are you even hearing yourself, Maria?"

"If you don't want to be with a basket case, all you had to do was say so!"

"I don't want to just be the girl on the side! Following you like a fucking lost puppy!"

He wanted to punch a wall because he knew exactly what he said that made her leave but he didn't know why he had said it. 

"It's times like this I get really fucking tired of having to build you back up every time life fires a shot at you! It's not my job to do that kind of shit!"

He felt tears burn in the back of his eyes. Why the hell did he say that? He didn't mean it! He knew she would have insecurities and he was perfectly happy to shower her with affection so they wouldn't hurt her as much. But for some damned reason, his vocal chords decided they needed to say that to her, hitting right where she would hurt most.

He could still hear the slamming of the door and her car peeling out of the driveway moments after he said that. The second the words were out of his mouth, he hated himself. He deserved her walking out. She was probably at her moms'. Hopefully, he would be able to talk to her in the morning to sort this all out.

He almost lost her once. He wasn't about to do it again.

His phone ringing brought him out of his thoughts. It wasn't her ringtone so he knew it wasn't her but either way, he answered. "Hello?"

"Shawn? It's Nicole." The sound of his girlfriend's mother slapped him back to reality. Whatever she dealt out, he deserved. "What happened with you and Maria tonight?"

Shawn sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He had assumed Maria would tell her mothers but maybe she was too upset with him to do so. "She and I got into a huge fight, I said something I didn't mean, and she left in her car a while ago. Is she with you and Rachel?"

"No," Nicole said bluntly. The single word came as an icy shock to Shawn. "She's at a bar in Toronto apparently drunk off her ass. She just drunk dialed Rachel about 20 minutes ago." Shawn's eyes widened. Maria drank a little since she turned 19 but she had never gotten fully drunk. "Now we know why. Rachel and I are almost to your place. We'll all go together and one of us can drive her car back."

Shawn agreed and ended the call. He slammed his fist against the counter. This was his fault and he was going to fix it before he lost her for good.

*******

"Well look who it is! Mr. 'It's not my job'!" Maria slurred as she spun around on the barstool to face Shawn. She ungracefully jumped off, wobbling a bit before finding her balance.

She pointed a finger at him and was about to say something when he took the hand that was pointing at him and cut her off, "Maria, we're not gonna argue again when you're this drunk. We're going home and we'll talk when you're sober."

She slapped his hand away from hers. "I don't know what you're talking about." She said, turning back to the bar and downing another shot. "I'm right where I need to be."

"No, you're not. That's the drinks talking." Shawn retorted. He waved over the bartender. "She's done for the night." He pulled out his wallet and put down a few bills. "Keep the change. Do you have her keys?"

The bartender nodded, taking the money and reaching underneath the bar. "Took 'em once she started cursing to her mom." She answered and handed him the keys. "No one does that if they're sober enough to drive."

Shawn nodded. "Thanks for that." She nodded and he turned to Maria who was spinning on the barstool. "Come on, Hepburn. Let's get you home."

"No!" Maria huffed like a small child. Shawn rolled his eyes. He decided he didn't really like drunk Maria. "I wanna stay here with my new friend!" She pointed to the bartender.

The bartender chuckled and pushed Maria's finger out of her face. "I think you better listen to him, sweetie." She said gently. "If he cares enough to come to a dump like this, he cares enough to know when you're done."

Maria huffed again and pouted. Shawn groaned. "Okay. Guess we're doing this the hard way." Maria didn't have time to react when he picked her up and put her over his shoulder fireman style. Surprisingly, she didn't put up a fight and just waved to the bartender as he took her out the door.

He tossed her keys to Rachel and Nicole who were waiting outside and told them to take her car back to his place before strapping Maria into the passenger seat of his car.

*******

Shawn set Maria on her feet in their room, keeping an arm around her waist while he started to take off her jacket. He had just slipped it off her when she bolted into the bathroom and retching could be heard. Shawn followed and held her hair back from her face, gently rubbing her back. When she was finished, he helped her wash her mouth out before leading her to the bed. She flopped down onto the mattress unceremoniously and Shawn had to chuckle.

She was a hot mess but she was his hot mess.

Or at least he hoped she would still be after they talked in the morning. He went to the bathroom and got two Advils and a glass of water. Setting them on her bedside table, he kissed her hair softly. "We'll talk in the morning. I love you, Maria." He said quietly.

He slipped her shoes off before turning out the light and heading to the guest room. He knew he would have trouble sleeping without her but he felt like she wouldn't necessarily want that at this moment. Until morning, all he just had to hope they would make it through this.