Decision

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  Forgive the late passage of time since my last entry for I had taken ill due to the news of Sir Guy, my Guy, and running after the holy man in the cold snowy weather. Despite being bled, I am doing better especially since the arrival of Spring. The only thing that could now help me more is Archer, for I have not heard from him since that fateful night when I was revealed. I feel as though he too has abandoned me, making me again fell the way I felt when Guy made me leave our home and Nottingham....abandoned and alone. Perhaps not as much as when Guy got rid of me, but I do long for the companionship of a gentleman. For I miss the talking and exchanging of ideas. Alas, for this is not meant for me. I am meant to be alone and abandoned. Helpless and hopeless. 

  Well, maybe not as helpless and hopeless as I think for I do have faithful Brigid always by my side. For now she is packing some more of our things as I take this brief respite and write my last entry from York. Oui, we are packing as much of our household as we can and will soon be going south to Nottingham. Or as close to Nottingham as we dare. For I do not know with certainty, but I suspect Sheriff Vaisey wants me to be like Sir Guy...dead. A feeling of this is all I have to go on but my third eye has never forsaken me.

  Upon our arrival at Nottingham or even Gisborne Manor I will search for my husband's grave and properly mourn him. Then after a short respite Brigid and I will travel further south. Perhaps not to London for my heart no longer has the desire to travel there. We will go somewhere. Away from York. Away from Nottingham. Away from London. Perhaps even away from England. Though I want to aimlessly travel, I can not for this would be most unfair to Brigid. For she should not travel as much at her age and it is time that I tend to her the way she has always tended to me.

  *Shaking my head in sadness and weariness* I do not know what else I am to do. At one time, long before Guy,  I had the strength and knowledge of what I wanted. But since his banishment of me, *shrugs my shoulders* I no longer know. But who does know? Maybe one day I will again find my strength and again be strong. I will again be the Lady M of Gisborne. 

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⏰ Last updated: Oct 06, 2018 ⏰

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