Brahms x Reader - After the killing

Chapter 19 - Meet me on the roof

    Less than half an hour later you arrive back at the estate, with mixed feelings but somehow an underlying eagerness, too. Like you get to continue what has been started and interrupted.
 You see the tall building looming in the distance after driving through the gates.
The car stops right outside the entrance; you pay the driver and then head on up the stairs to unlock the big wooden front door. It creaks loudly as you open and close it, announcing your return. You hear the taxi drive away on the gravel outside. You take off your jacket, hang it over a chair and stand quiet in the foyer for a moment; listening for any signs of Brahms.
"Brahms! I'm here!" you call out. No answer. 
You make your way to the kitchen, and put your bags on the floor. No sign of him here either. You had pretty much expected Brahms to appear as soon as you came in the door, considering how he handled your departure. His absence concerns you, and you're wondering where he might be and what he's been up to these past couple of hours.
Then, you suddenly notice something. Lying on the kitchen table.
You step forward and look down at it. It's a piece of paper; a simple drawing. Childlike, a bit rough but the motif is very clear. Unmistakeable. It shows a house, drawn in black ink. On the roof sits a small figure, and next to it a short message is scribbled down.
'Up here' it says.
However, there's nothing on how exactly to find your way up to the roof. No clue of where to search. Does that mean he wants to be alone, or that he figures you'll surely manage to get there anyway? If that's the case, he might overestimate you; you still haven't even been everywhere inside the house yet. Least of all – above it.
You think about where you might be able to find a way up and out. If there's an exit that leads up to the house roof, it should likely be located somewhere near Brahms hidden quarters, maybe in case he needed to escape? As you think about it, you remember stairs leading to a ladder in the chimney, back in the hidden room.
Maybe that's it?
You decide to give it a try, and head out of the kitchen, up the stairs and into Brahms childhood room. You find that the secret hatch in the wall is already open, exposing the dim and dusty space inside. You're on the right track then! 
You crawl through the wall, but just as you are about to start climbing the narrow stairs up to the hidden room, you instinctively stop and hesitate.
Somewhere deep inside you admit that you're still not sure about Brahms or his intentions with you. You think about the way he grabbed and forced you to be held; so hard you couldn't even breathe, trapped in his arms. Did he at all understand he could have hurt you? Did he know exactly what he was doing, or was he unaware? He squeezed you rather as the lifeless ragdoll in his hidden room, than as a living person.
You decide to compose yourself and begin to climb the creaking steps. When you reach the top you see another piece of paper, lying on the floor in front of you. 'In here' it says in the same scribbly handwriting as on the drawing. This little trail of clues could either be very considerate, or very creepy. Seemingly innocent, but luring you into what?
You turn to the left and open the wooden door into the strange attic room.
You enter, and once again marvel at the sight of the messy yet interesting space. The sheet music, toy animals, string lights, tons of books on tables and in shelves. An electric organ, a broken violin. The empty bird cages and obscure artworks dangling from the ceiling. It's all part of him and his past hidden life in here. He should bring some more of these belongings back to the house, to feel more at home.
You walk up the narrow staircase in the middle of his room, up to the loft with its dying houseplants and work benches filled with random little objects; buttons, spools of thread, beads, and tools. This must be where he's been crafting all of his strange artworks and decorations over the years. On the walls you see paper cut outs, news articles and collages. It all seems very representative of Brahms and his mind, you think. Scattered. 
You step up to the hole in the brick wall, and look up and down the ladder attached to the inside of the dark chimney. Well, this should be it then. Somewhere up there you should find a way out on the roof. You look down the black chimney again, and feel a shiver run along your spine.
Suddenly you feel a lump in your chest. Your imagination starts running.
What if this is what it's all led to, him luring you off to a dangerous place to do whatever...?
You remember what the Heelshires wrote in that letter.
The girl is yours now. 
Suddenly you feel upset about them even thinking about you as 'someone's'. Deciding your fate for you, taking your life out of your own hands.
You could have left today, when you were in town.
You could have called the police, gotten it all over with.
But for some reason you didn't. You're not done here yet, and something tells you to keep going forward in this strange chapter of your life. You take a deep breath, build up your strength and determination and grab the ladder in the darkness in front of you.
You start climbing, step by step further and further up the chimney. It's almost pitch black, but somewhere above you there is a small ray of light. That has to be a hatch.

You keep on climbing until you're right underneath it. Carefully, you raise one hand and push the hatch upwards. It works; daylight floods the inside of the chimney and you squint at the sudden bright light. You heave yourself up into freedom and look over the edge of the chimney.

The cool autumn air greets you, and you look to the sky above. You climb onto the roof, and leave the hatch open behind as you admire the view from far up here. Forest as far as the eye can see. This seems to be quite a safe part of the roof, at least. It's not too sloping or steep, and down at the edge, by the rain gutter, you spot a little railing.

"You found me." A familiar voice says, quietly behind you.