Brahms x Reader - After the killing

Chapter 20 - The swallows nest

You turn your head towards the voice. Brahms is sitting up on the ridge of the roof, looking down at you. You greet him with a faint smile, and wonder if the excursion up here was some kind of test. Although, what would you prove to him by finding the way?
On second thought, you never know. Hidden motif or not, you make your way up to the ridge and sit down next to him with some distance in between. You still haven't let go of the thoughts you had right before you entered the dark chimney. Thoughts of danger and suspicion.
You still can't shake the feeling that Brahms is erratic, that something could suddenly set him off.
"Thanks for the drawing." You say, doing your best to sound confident.
You see him nod in the corner of your eye. You look out over the woods in the distance, an impressive view. As long as you don't think about the fact that it surrounds you from all directions.
"Did I hurt you?" Brahms suddenly asks.
He looks right at you, and you glance over at him. "Before. When you left." He adds.
As if you had forgotten, and needed a reminder. You bite your lower lip without even noticing, thinking about an answer.
"To be honest... I couldn't breathe for a moment. It scared me." You confess.
You decide honesty is the way to go here. Brahms looks away, and you see him clenching his fists in his lap. You both sit quiet for some time, and you wait for him to say something.
"I didn't mean to scare." He says after a while, in a defeated and somehow frustrated voice. As if he's scolded himself a hundred times. You nod to show that you're listening, encouraging him to continue.
"Sometimes..." he begins but resorts to silence.
"Yes...?" you try. He looks down at his hands.
"Sometimes I can't help it. It just happens. When..." he goes silent again, as if he wanders off in thought.
"...When you get upset?" you say to help him out.
He looks at you, seemingly surprised but nods.
"I forget." He adds. "To behave."
"Did you ever get punished, Brahms?" you dare ask. "For misbehaving...?"
You remember him telling you how whenever he was bad, he was left.
He looks out over the tree tops. After a while you stop expecting an answer from him. But just as you're about to give up and change the subject, he finds the words.
"Bad boys get punished." He states emotionlessly, almost certainly quoting a parent. You swallow.
"How...?" you ask, unintentionally lowering your voice. He turns his head and looks right at you in silence, a little too long for it to be comfortable.
"The way they deserve." He says. "Are you going to punish me, Y/n?"
The way he's asking is innocent, but his words aren't. Whatever he's insinuating, it makes your face heat up in the cold autumn air. You hope it isn't showing.
"I'll have to think about that." you mumble and look away. So he's not ready to tell you about his childhood yet? You're sure the opportunity will come up later on, though.
Suddenly you notice something down in the rain gutter, further down the roof. At first you can't make out what it is. But as you look, you realize there's something else down there besides dried up old leaves and evergreen needles. A strange pile, consisting of something that seems to be... skeletons? Small, brittle bones - no larger than toothpicks. And skulls, with tiny beaks and big eyeholes.
You stare down at them, and Brahms notices. You look up at him with a questioning expression on your face, and he seems to choose his words wisely before he decides to speak of the uncanny sight. You just have a feeling already that he is the reason for these remains.
"They were baby birds." He says.
"What... did you do?" you ask hesitantly, continuing down the road of ill timed questions.
Brahms peeks at you as if to wonder if that's something you really want to know.
"I didn't mean it." He says calmly with a shrug, but once again with a hint of frustration. As if he's annoyed with the little creatures for being so frail, so overly easy to kill.
"It was a long time ago."
Those poor birds. Just born, and then having their lives ended before they had barely even begun? Brahms looks down at the skeletons for some time, studying them.
What ever could those innocent beings have done to make him so mad? You're feeling uneasy for sure, but before you there is a small chance of getting to know Brahms more. For better or worse. You're intrigued, still, and you can't help it.
"Tell me what happened." You say, in a slightly demanding tone. You suspect that you have to show some audacity to make him talk, or he'll just crawl back into his quiet shell of secrets. He hesitates.
"I always came here when I was younger. Since I couldn't leave." He starts slowly. "There was a swallow's nest with eggs." He nods to his right. "I saw them hatch and grow." He continues. "I liked having them. So when they started getting ready to fly..."
He cuts off his sentence, glancing at you. That's all he's going to say about the event, apparently. As if he's counting on you to figure out the rest for yourself. And he doesn't need to explain further. You know he killed them because they were about to leave both the roof and him.
"Tell me what you did." You say. And he doesn't hesitate this time.