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Dear Diary,

Non-Fiction

Musings, rants, observations and lessons I encounter in my day to day life. Who knows, maybe you'll relate.

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by kalene17

by kalene17

October 7, 2018

Sunday

Dear diary,

I'm unsure of where I'm headed. And I feel like I haven't found my purpose, but that doesn't mean I've lost hope, it just means I'm very, very close to it. I always think once I reach a certain goal or milestone that satisfaction will come, but mostly I feel nothing. It's maddening and discouraging. And it brings up the feeling: why am I like This? This can't be normal. Right?

I feel like I just need to talk to someone, but I hate opening up and it takes me very long to trust someone. I don't live life in misery, I'm not as depressed as I was 3 years ago (that was the absolute worst), I'm happy most days and I feel like I can see color again. But it just lingers around, poking me every so often and causing me to veer of course. It's hard, but I know I can get through it. I'm just glad to be in such a better mental state nowadays. Life has gotten so much better, and so taking one step at a time feels like a doable thing now.

-N