Unpresedented (tree bros) (Ability Au)

chapter 3

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Its so silent, So dull, This familiar sensation left a bad feeling in my chest. It was different here not in a bad way but not in a good way either. All I could really think was "Everything is numb"

The air is thick And stuffy not as my room had been
That's when I began to remember that I  was no longer going to wake up to my room or see my mom standing over me with a worried yet comforting expression, No more notes or pressured goodbyes as she headed out for work and no more writing letters with no point. What was I waiting for. Where had the long uneventful hours gone.

At this point I needed something to show were I was, I  wouldn't even mind the strong smell of bleach by now. As long as something was there to grab onto , to pull myself above the exhaustion I so badly couldn't stand, but nothing was there Nothing positive at least.

A voice hit my ears in the hollow room
"Hello?"

That voice. That familiar voice that tugged me into reality
And honestly, id prefer to float endlessly within my own self pity than to have this situation turn out the way it did. What was that? Of course somehow I already knew who the voice belonged to. More silence passed, There seemed to be a lot of that here. I thought if I stayed silent long enough I would be overlooked like I usually was but the voiced sparked up again.

" Are you up yet?, its like..11:00" The sudden sentence had shocked me at first
They spoke directly to me, who? Not wanting to let myself believe that was who it was I tried to drowned out my thought's. Who is that? It couldn't be?....its not like this person could....What exactly happened. My head hurts. everything fuzzy. "Seriously man i dont have time for you to try to waste so if this some sort of sick joke or whatever just get up and leave"

....

No answer
..

"Or at least leave my bathroom i'm tired and id like to get something productive done today" That's when it hit me I couldn't deny it at that point. Connor. He had come home during my...incident. I lied before there was something i didn't want even if I had to stay numb forever this was the one thing I couldn't stand. He had heard me. He had been so close to seeing me In my disgusting state. More silence passed not a word was spoken. Neither from him or myself This is crazy.  I mean ....he just sat there all night!? He didn't see...did he? Oh god I have to clean up. I wanted to get this done quick and quietly I didn't want Connor to know I was up quite yet.

It was stupid honestly but I wasn't sure what he would do. At least...i didn't pass out on the bed , somehow i feel that would end worse...I struggled to stand. Thoughts of last night replaying in my head. I looked in the mirror for barely a moment. Almost not long enough to see myself.

Disgusting

Stepping closer towards the sink I turned on the faucet as low as I could hoping Connor wouldn't hear me. And just my luck he hadn't seemed too. It was easy to get lost in useless things. After all I cant be seen like this ...I dont want to be made fun of...I dont want him to see...I know how bad it is...Closing my eyes I inhaled deeply before gently rinsing my skin. Medium pale colors mixed with the crimson hue of the liquid running down the drain.

For some reason nothing I did registered with my mind it was like my life was the sound in the background when your listening to music when you dont want to mishear if someones talking about you
But all you really want to do is listen to a song.And at the same time you dont want  to not hear if someone is talking about you or too you, But you really dont care

Music...
That sounds good right about now Wish I had been alone then I could just play any song however load...well not..too load. That wasn't exactly true, and a part of me was glad Connor had come home. A part of me. Just a small part Thought maybe he wasn't as bad as be seems. Maybe he was lonely and wanted to do something right. Maybe he was in pain...just..just like me, I hated the thought of others being in pain but I loved having someone to talk to who understands. But never in a million years would i truly wish this pain upon someone other than myself. I just couldn't. The water came to a stop as i dried my irritated arms and legs. I leaned down and scrubbed at the floor vigorously.

No matter how bad it hurt.
No matter how many signs my body gave that it wasn't recovered for this much movement I had to fix the mess I made.The mess I am is already shattered far beyond fixing now. A loud knock was planted on the door behind me. Guess that's my cue...

Slowly I  turned around staring at the exit of the small room. Did I really want to go out there?..Just behind that door is Connor Murphy . He could kill me if he wanted to I was in no state capable of being worried maybe if I had been I would've asked to switch rooms..Or even just have left with my stuff. Well I am tired...cant go back now. Pulling on my sweater which still had minimal spots of my blood covering the sleeves. And carefully rolling down my black jeans I managed a sigh before stepping forward ounce more. Honestly..I'm too tired to be scared.

My sleeve covered hand twisted the handle on the door
Even that almost seemed too difficult being how exhausted I was Slowly. Quietly. Slightly. Evenly. Bit by bit.

Okay...now I'm just stalling to avoid opening the door completely.

The door swung open from the other side as if someone could tell I didn't want to open it but wanted to return to the room. It scared me honestly, such a violent grip..........."Is there a reason you,re here?" That's when I saw him. That's when it changes I suppose That's where my story really starts.His dark shoulder length hair spiraled out in curls framing his dusty pale face. He had a dark jacket on and..the most complicated eyes I had ever seen. They were darkened and dull. His face had an all too well known scowl plastered onto it. Which  made me slightly regret the entire meeting between us.

"Well are you going to answer me? or just stand there in my bathroom doorway forever" He's a sarcastic guy....., I can tell by the way he stands..that dousen't necessarily make him self centered tho.

..i think..

"Hello?, Listen i'm done playing nice here if your one of those kids then go away i've had people try to make me worry about them before its a dumb tactic."

"...what..?"

I had to say something to that. "I....um....i'm Evan Hansen...and well...i'm s-supposed to stay h-here" Ugh.. Thanks for gracing me with your presence stutter fairy I hadn't looked up hadn't glanced away from the soooo interesting floor. "Oh your that kid, i said i didn't want a roommate stupid systems always ignoring what i say"

I glanced up briefly seeing his expression his mouth turned up in a way that suggested agitation but his eyes made one thing clear. He was more agitated at himself than me. I knew those eyes all too well, Because i've seen them in myself. "Um.you d-dont need to a-acknowledge m-me"

........
"What...?"

"I-i mean well its clear you dont want t-to deal with me so d-dont i'm a quite k-kid I can stay out of y-your w-way""What the.."..."Your one weird kid y'know""...i'm sorry.."

"Whatever"

A/N
sorry for the wait i knew i had to post since its been awhile but i know its bad 😅

word count 1356