The Emotional Rollercoaster

Chapter 1

School. Ditching. The two words that fit perfectly together and that's exactly what i was doing today. I grabbed my rucksack and headed out, tucking my key into my pocket. Music blared through my ears as i started towards my destination. I was meeting him today near the abandoned farm house. Butterflies penetrated my soul, enlightening the hollowness within it. In the distance I could see a tall figure leaning against a tree. I wanted to run to him but I held myself back. As I was closing the space between us his beautiful face came into focus. He slowly looked up and smirked at me, batting his bold brown eyes, he clasped my arm and swung me into an embrace. All of the worries that I carried washed over me as I gripped him for dear life. He smelled of fresh flowers and sweet mint. Sliding his hand over my burning face, he brushed away loose hairs. I smiled lazily as the sun beat down on my sullen skin. His brown hair lay messily on his head, he looked nice like that. "Bonnie ditched eh," he whispered into the air delicately. "For you, of course," I replied, our hands grazed each other slightly. Hesitantly I moved away but to my surprise his fingers laced themselves into mine. I clasped my hand tighter between his and sighed as I glanced towards him. A pendant lay on his neck, it was an antique, vintage looking object. "Bonnie, I love you," I felt him inhale, "I love you too, Jack," I gently kissed him. He quickly withdrew the locket and wrapped it in my hands. I placed it into my pocket. My legs melted onto the floor as he began growing further and further from me. Words bubbled unexpectedly from my mouth, "You took it, you took it, from him." Jack furrowed his eyebrows with disbelief and suddenly clutched my shoulders desperately as fear poured into his eyes. Suddenly he started to shake me so violently tears poured from their home. "Bonnie you need to wake up."

"Bonnie, what is the answer, BONNIE!" My eyes fluttered open as I heard voices slowly fill my head. I was met with Mr Roger's kind face looking concerned as he was standing in front of a blurry picture. "Romeo?" I mumbled half asleep. The class roared with laughter and before I knew it my legs robotically started up and lost control. As I exited the classroom I caught a glimpse of Jack before my heart melted with disbelief that I had yet another dream of him and I together. I started to run. I didn't know where but it wasn't outside the classroom. It was the last day of term, i'm sure they wouldn't care. I was face to face with the entrance door. The receptionist glared at me as though all hope had escaped her so I merely jumped over the barrier and left. 

I ran to the farmhouse and clutched my head. It was a dream, I fell asleep in class, I dreamed that. Water filled my tired eyes, I was so frustrated. I took a left through the forest, a couple more minutes ahead and I will be back into my dream. The green embers reflected light into my eyes, the blue ripples swam carelessly down the banks; I was nearly there. Crossing the bridge I came face to face with the familiar atmosphere. The abandoned farm house, the tree: everything. My body collapsed onto the floor as I flung myself back and glanced at the sky. That was the third time this week I had dreamed about Jack. But this time it was different. A pendant was involved and that hadn't happened in the other ones. I traced shapes with my fingers at the sky, as though I had the power to manipulate the clouds but the only power I had was to humiliate myself in English. I closed my eyes trying to fill my brain with the memories of the dream. I tried avoiding Jack on a day to day basis because of how weirded out I was by the repetition of my mind when sleep decided to infiltrate me. Apparently dreams have meanings to them, so what could my dream possible connote to? Removing myself from the green ground I shoved my hands into my pockets and started to make my way home. Unexpectedly, I clutched an object. Cautiously, I lifted my hand free of my pocket and opened my palm. There in the center lay the pendant.

                                                                                                    ***

I sat by the window sill staring out as each rain drop caught the trees as they ultimately fell to their death. My journal was hidden by the forest of fabric surrounding my legs. It's autumn and the cold always finds its way through the cracks by the window. Despair wraps around my body as I crave for the answers to the dreams  I continue to have. Condensation kisses the glass as steam pours out of my mug. I close my eyes as I begin to  embrace the emotions I felt in the dream. Why did my heart beat erratically in those realities created in my head? The part of myself from the dream echoed from the deepest parts of my mind. I want to lock eyes with him and run away from all the worries, he numbs the pain, he is my drug. The quiet one drove my curiosity into insanity. Now I can't stop myself, I need to close the space between us.

                                                                                                   ***

I awoke from my chamber of pillows and put my 'Breaking Benjamin' playlist on. I have one week to sort my life out before going back to school; game on. I looked into my mirror and sighed, "Maybe I can wash some ugly off," I thought aloud. I clasped my curtains and flung them open. Idly the emerald cones shivered as the wind blew gently down. The horizon was filled with eerie tones of sapphire and sepia. My blurred eyes scanned the landscape below me, a silhouette swept on the garage wall. Immediately I slid my jumper on and fixed my obnoxiously large glasses onto my pasty portrait. Running down the stairs I grabbed the bread knife and unlocked the front door, making my way to the garden. A loud groan bellowed from beneath the rusty gate, I kicked it shut and inspected the garden. A piercing light evaporated out of my window; I didn't leave my light on.

Suddenly the light burst and the room turned black. It was 6 am and the sleep vanished from me as soon as it hit 5 am. I prefer getting less sleep because it makes the chance of the dream making an appearance very low.  A foreign sensation burned through my body, I clutched the side of my body and felt my hand burn against something. The pendant.

Half way up the stairs I heard shuffling from my room; the bastards trying to hide I thought. I marched to the door and kicked it open. Standing in the corner was a tall figure. The energy from the pendant overtook me and my entire body was thrown into the stranger, knife first. "Bonnie?" a sweet, innocent voice filled me as the lights flickered on. I was face to face with the anonymous victim. I gasped and thought Dear God did i kill him? I looked down and my body started to shake violently. "No," i whispered "Jack...I....your..." The only thing I could see was the handle of the knife among his leather jacket. Jack, the mysterious boy, the boy I... killed. Tear stains appeared on his gray top. "I'm so sorry," were the last words that escaped from my mouth before I was plunged into complete darkness.

                                                                                                 ***

A bright white light reflected into my eyes as I struggled to open them. Unfamiliar faces interjected in the bubbles of blurriness. The smell of the dead crawled its way into my nose; I buried myself into my long brown hair, the knowing smell of coconut shampoo filled me with comfort. "Bonnie dear," my eyes bolted open. My parents had gone on holiday for 4 weeks in Barcelona, the thought of them soaking up the sun made me smile. But the realization that I wasn't home and they weren't here slapped me in the face.

 A curvy woman stood before me, golden locks fell swiftly down her face. Red lipstick was smeared across her lips with dark wings around her eyes. She wore a duck egg blouse with a mini apron. "Um, hi?" I whimpered, pushing myself up from the bed. "Where am I?" I questioned, trying to keep the panic in my voice at bay. "Well you're in the hospital dear, you fell down the stairs and suffered some head injuries. But you should be back to normal in no time." she chimed, laying a plate of food beside me. "But how did I get here?" I asked the panic erupting from me.  "That handsome chap over there brought you here, he stayed with you from 7 in the morning!" I craned my neck over and saw someone slouched on the sofa. "What time is it now?" I muttered out loud. Surely I wouldn't have been out for the entire day? "It's 5:23 love," she replied, sympathy pouring from her voice. I glanced back at the mysterious figure. My stomach pulsed in and out as i shivered: hollowness seeped through my lungs, enveloping all the oxygen from them. His eyes fluttered open, Jack.

I collapsed back into the pillows and stared, all I did was stare. What else could I have possibly done? I drove a knife into him and he was sitting there; alive. "I'll be back in a few," she said staring at the two of us. "By the way my name is Lilith Orion," she said as she walked out the door. My head filled itself with mixed emotions; joy that he was alive and confusion, as he was sitting there smiling at me. "How are you feeling?" He said, shifting uncomfortably in his seat. "Shouldn't I be asking you that question considering I.. you know," i mumbled. Deep down my insides were screaming run Bonnie he's dangerous but there I sat rooted to the hospital bed.

My brain tried to process the recent events. I was so confused about everything, my mind felt like it had been clamped in between two metal vices. I heard him sigh deeply. I felt the sigh, it stroked my ears like when his hand stroked the stray hairs away from my face in the dream. But was that a dream? Of course it was I couldn't be in two places at once. But that didn't explain how I got the pendant. How did I suffer head injuries when I didn't fall down the stairs? I collapsed from fright seeing him alive, if he had survived a stab wound - what did that make him?