my first and last // chensung✓

twenty three | (sort of) misunderstandings

❝just because it's my first time doesn't mean i don't know. ❞

huang renjun | wednesday, october 3.
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RENJUN WASN'T STUPID.

he had always assumed that jaemin and jeno held feelings for each other. it was never confirmed, and it honestly wasn't that obvious, but it was a thought that never left his mind.

however, it had never occurred to him that they wouldn't want him.

he had gone to school with jisung and chenle and they met up with the others as per usual. everything went fine, everything was normal until he caught a conversation that was probably meant to be hidden. it wasn't even that bad, it was barely three sentences, but it hit him straight in the throat.

jaemin and jeno were joking around with mark and renjun just watched. the two looked so painfully happy and cute that he could watch them for hours. he felt himself smile as jaemin laughed at one of mark's terrible jokes, grinning brightly and slapping jeno's shoulder. he fought the urge to run up and cuddle them, wanting to laugh with them.

renjun imagined squishing in between their hugs and being kissed on both cheeks, jeno taking the left and jaemin on the right. he imagined holding their hands, going on cute dates and falling asleep with their warmth surrounding him from all directions.

he imagined being able to call them his, and vice versa.

but then he imagined all of those things without him. jaemin kissing jeno's cheek with no need for a third person to kiss the other, clinging onto him, cuddling into his back in the middle of the night.

jeno as jaemin's, jaemin as jeno's, and renjun as... renjun.

suddenly a head on his shoulder and two arms wrapped tightly around his waist brought him out of his thoughts. he sighed, taking his eyes off of his two crushes. the other boy that was clinging to him, warming his body, asked softly, "why are you frowning so much? you okay, baby?"

renjun bit his lip, leaning into donghyuck's warmth. he replied, a worried undertone laced in his mouse-like voice. "what if they don't want me?"

he watched as jaemin moved to jisung, still looking towards mark and jeno. "i mean," he continued, placing his small hands over donghyuck's, "it's pretty unlikely that the both of them like me, and each other."

that was true. donghyuck knew it was unlikely but somehow, it happened. he couldn't just tell renjun that he already knew the two wanted him, though, so he lifted his head and moved one hand to cup renjun's cheek, turning the elder's head to look at him. renjun looked into donghyuck's eyes shyly, scanning his caring and soft expression, their faces barely a foot away from each other. he wondered if anyone was watching them and taking the situation the wrong way, but he didn't really care. the hand that remained on renjun's stomach reached over to find renjun's other hand, lacing their fingers together over his torso.

"stop thinking that," donghyuck whispered. "it's even more unlikely that they won't like you, or that they won't understand. that won't happen, 'kay? i promise."

renjun sighed, letting his eyes fall shut. he nodded hesitantly.

donghyuck held the boy carefully. his thumb caressed his cheekbone until they heard a hushed, "stop staring at jeno and just confess already!"