These covers, may keep me warm at night
But they can't take your place
Cause they never gonna hold me tight
And these pillows, may let me rest my head
But they can't say good night
And tuck me in before I go to bed
-Alicia Keys
________________
Five tears later...
Jacob Pov
I felt bad the moment I first had the thought. I knew I shouldn't have left but I couldn't live around lost love. Knowing that I was never good enough for him no matter how much I tried. So I left. I moved to New York and started a new life. It was the worst best decision of my life. If that makes sense.
I cried the first month. I missed everyone and everything I knew. But it got easier a little. Messiah was a big help of my new found happiness. But sleeping alone for the first three years didn't feel right. I wanted more than anything to go back to L.A or for Chres to wrap his arms around me and rock me to sleep. I never knew a bed could feel so cold when your by your self. My days where dark and gloomy and the only sun light shining threw that darkness was my bundle of joy, Messiah.
That boy is just like his father in every way. He laughs like him, acts like his goofy self, sweet like him just everything like him. And it breaks my heart how much he reminds me of Chresanto.
Also my love life is... Great. I mean it was hard at first but it got easier when I meet Trent. He was such a sweet heart even when I kept trying to tell him I wasn't looking for a relationship. He was my first friend when I moved. Messiah calling him bubba and adores him. Trent and I having been dating for the last two years. He helps me with Messiah, and everything. He also knows about my relationship with Chres and why I moved here. He proposed two months ago and of course I said yes. I want him to meet my family but I haven't talked to them since I left.
"Siah! Are you things packed baby?" I yelled from my room.
"Yes Daddy!" I heard he running.
"What have I told you about running Messiah?" I raised an eyebrow at him once he came to my room door.
"That Siah can get really hurt." He smiled sheepishly.
He had his two front teeth missing and it was so adorable. I waved him over to the bed. He hopped on to it and crawled into my lap. I sat against the head board and he laid his head on my chest and sucked his thumb. I rubbed his back gently and started sanging him to sleep. As I was sanging Trent came out the bathroom in some gym shorts and no shirt. I bit my lip at him and he winked at me.
"You backed everything baby?" His deep voice asked me.
"Yeah. Did you?" He nodded.
He walked over to me and picked up a now sleeping Messiah. I gave my baby a kiss on the head before Trent carried him out the room to his own. A few minutes later he came back and jumped on the bed. He crawled in between my legs and placed kisses all over my face.
"Stop.." I giggled and placed my hands on his chest.
He smiled down at me and pecked my lips. I pouted and pucker my lips and pointed to them. I wanted a real kiss. He just his eyes and kissed me for real. I placed my hands softly on each side of his face to keep him firmly in place. His tongue ran across my bottom lip asking for a entrance but I denied him. He groaned and squeezed my sides. I giggled and pulled back slightly.
"We have to get up early." I mumbled against his lips.
"You sure you want to go visit them for new years? We could stay here. Just me, you and lil man. Have fun at the ball drop." He whispered.
I have called my mom before Messiah birthday and told her I wanted to visit. She cried and shouted yes over and over again. I told her to make sure everyone one was there and tell then that your just throwing a barbeque party. I also made sure she didn't tell anyone I was coming.
"Yeah baby. I'm sure." I smiled softly.
-
"Hurry baby. We need to head to the airport now." Trent stressed.
I huffed and dragged my lugged to the car. He closed the trunk and hopped in the driver seat. I looked back to see if Messiah is okay while Trent pulls out the drive way. I'm nervous. What is going to happen once I get there? Will everyone be happy or sad? Trent grab my hand and gave it a light squeeze.
"Everything is going to be fine baby. You don't need to me nervous." He kissed the back of my hand and continued driving.
I just got this feeling that something bad is going to happen. And I knew exactly who was gonna cause it. Well be the reason for it. I glance at Trent and squeezed his hand back. I hope everything goes smoothly.
Messiah ----->
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