Between the Raindrops | ✓

Ch.37 | I'm Beautiful

B E T W E E N

T H E

R A I N D R O P S

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"Shane, I don't want to talk about this right now." I sigh, placing my glass of sweet tea on the counter.

We're currently in my kitchen, working on some homework that we got from class today. After everything that happened yesterday with Angie's mom and my parents finally talking, I just need a day of normalcy.

"You were already going to talk to me about it, but then the stuff with Angie's dad happened. We need to talk about this." He protests, placing the bowl of chips back down onto the counter.

We've been here working for probably close to two hours, and we aren't even finished yet. He wants me to talk about my eating habits, and even though I already said I would, I'm currently regretting that decision.

"I just... don't know what to say." I admit.

"Just start from the beginning." He urges, placing a comforting hand against my back.

I look around and realize we're the only ones here. Dad is at an AA meeting and mom is still at work. Jacob is actually over at Shane's house, playing with Peyton. Shane and I brought him there after picking him up from school. We're supposed to go back to get him in a little while, but Shane is insisting we talk about this now.

"Well, this was before I even met you." I begin.

"How long?" He asks.

"Probably... three or so years." I confess, and his eyes slightly widen.

"Why haven't you tried to talk to anyone before now? Like your parents, or Angie or Jax?" He wonders.

"Because... they wouldn't understand." I sigh. "They're all so perfect. Especially my mom and Angie. They're beautiful, and so thin... I just, I knew they would judge me." I look down at my hands, now playing with my pen.

Shane carefully takes the pen from my hands and places it onto the counter. He then grabs my hand with his and stands us up, leading me upstairs into my room.

"Let's get away from the textbooks, away from everything. Let's talk about this. Just you and me. Nobody else." Shane smiles, and once we're in my bedroom, I feel a little more at ease.

"Well, when my dad started drinking, I sort of felt like it was my fault. He never said why he started drinking, and he would always pick fights with both my mom and me. I used to hear them screaming at each other all through the night when he would come home completely wasted." I explain as Shane carefully listens.

"I don't know, I guess I just felt like I could have been doing more to help him. Like I should have been doing more, so instead, I found comfort in food. I used to eat so much, every single day. To the point to where my stomach would be in excruciating pain. Then, I would lay down in my room all day, or all day after school, and do absolutely nothing." I can feel water beginning to form beneath my eyes, but I keep any tears from falling.

I have to get all of this out. This is my chance to finally come to terms with my problem, and finally decide to fix it.

"Before I knew it, the weight started piling on. I felt useless, and pathetic. I stopped hanging out with Angie and Jax as much, I stopped trying in school, I stopped eating... I just didn't care about anything anymore."