Between the Raindrops | ✓

Ch.39 | Always

B E T W E E N

T H E

R A I N D R O P S

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"So tell me Addilyn, when did you first realize that you didn't like how you looked?" JoAnn asks while holding her clipboard in her hands.

"Well, I wanna say around middle school." I shrug. "I just remember waking up one day and looking into the mirror and thinking, 'man, when did I get ugly?'".

"Had anyone else ever said the words ugly when referring to you?" JoAnn asks.

"Well no, but sometimes it's not always how other people see you, you have to see yourself a certain way too." I try to defend myself. "And I just didn't feel like I was anything special at all."

"Hm." She hums, while jotting a few things down on her paper. "I can understand that."

"Really?" My eyes widen. "I mean... thanks."

"Absolutely. Sometimes the interpretation of others only goes so far... but eventually you need to believe that you yourself are worth something if you ever truly want to feel that way." She explains, and I completely understand what she is saying.

"So, in order to show others how I feel, I need to understand what I feel for myself first?" I ask.

"Of course." She smiles. "You see, so many young people nowadays rely so harshly on social media and advertisements that they only see perfection as a size 0 with perfect makeup... but in reality, that isn't always the case. And that's okay. It's okay to not be perfect, because nobody ever truly is." JoAnn explains, and I nod in understanding.

"Do you think those size 0 girls with perfect makeup are happy? Maybe they are, but... maybe they aren't. Maybe they're tired of starving themselves just to be looked at as perfect. Maybe they're tired of always having to look their absolute best, when all they really want to do is cuddle up on the couch with a good book or movie while wearing sweatpants." She says and I've honestly never thought about that before.

"It's really all about perspective."

"So... in order to be happy, I just have to live my life how I want to, regardless of what anyone else thinks? I have to trust that I know who I am and who I want to be as I get older." I say, and JoAnn only smiles in response.

"Now, let's talk about another situation. Your dad. How is that going?" JoAnn asks, and I instantly feel my stomach twist. I hate talking about my dad's drinking problem; simply because it's an everyday reminder of the lies and the life, I don't want to think about my dad having.

"Well, actually-" but I'm cut off as JoAnn's timer goes off at her desk.

"Oh, look at that! Saved by the bell!" I smile wide as I grab my bag and stand up.

JoAnn gives me a pointed look before smiling. "Alright, I'll see you next week... and don't think I won't remember this question." She smirks, and I give her a sheepish smile before leaving her warm and welcoming office.

"Bye JoAnn!" I shout as the door closes behind me.

When I walk outside, I smile at Shane who is waiting for me beside his mom's car.

I run and leap into his arms as he picks me up and twirls me around.

"Wow, what a greeting. I should pick you up more often." Shane laughs into my ear as he puts me back down.