Unthinkable

Chapter 9~ Inviting him . . .

I chew on the end of a pen, trying to think of something else to put on the list. In just two weeks Gale and I have our toasting. Everyone has already been invited. Those people include Gale's family, my mom, Haymitch, and multiple others such as Annie, Johanna, etc. It isn't going to be huge at all. We already signed papers at the Justice Building and were assigned a house where we will all gather. I plan to not make it fancy at all. It will be plain and old fashioned. Gale and I both agreed on this. That way it will feel more official.

Gale keeps making sure I fully approve of this, that we aren't moving too fast. He proposed just four months ago and I'm only nineteen, but what is there to wait for? We're clearly going to stay together and marry someday, why not make it soon? I love him and he loves me. Suddenly, Gale takes the paper and reads aloud everything we've planned so far.

"We have- dress, suit, shoes, chairs, tables, food . . ." He goes on and on with the list. When he finishes, he eyes me, waiting for me to add on.

"Cake," I say quietly. I've been avoiding it since the list started. Obviously Peeta is the one who would do that extremely well. I'd put off inviting him too, nervous to speak to him again after the incident that happened months ago.

"Right," Gale says uneasily as he nods his head and slides the paper over to me to write it down.

It's silent for a moment as I write it down slowly. I dread the day coming soon where I will have to ask Peeta if he wants to come and if he will make my cake. I know I can't avoid it forever. I could always ask someone else to do it, but I feel like it'd be rude if he didn't invite him and I might as well ask if he'll make the cake while I'm at it. I wonder if he's heard about Gale and I's engagement. He must've. It was all over magazines and the news. Paylor even asked us to come to the Capitol and say a speech about how our life is going, but that's my business. I'm not just a player in a president's game anymore.

Gale brings a clear glass of water to his lips and takes a huge gulp of it. He stares at me through the glass and when I meet his eyes he starts wiggling his eyebrows foolishly to make me laugh. I suppose he saw the worry and dread on my face and is trying to cheer me up.

"Want some?" he asks. I shake my head and he sets the glass down, shrugging. After a brief moment of silence, he speaks again. "You should just do it today to get it over with Katniss. I'll be with you, don't worry."

I know immediately that he's referring to the chat I need to have with Peeta. I bite my lower lip nervously. I want to just tell him we'll find someone else to make our cake and he doesn't need to be invited, but for some reason I feel obligated to have him there.

"Fine. Let's do that," I agree. "Just not now."

With that, I trudge to our bedroom. I need time to prep myself to see him again. I won't -I can't- look at him the same anymore. What am I going to say? It's all going to be awkward obviously. I wish there was a way to avoid that.

As I lay in my bed hugging my pillow, I listen to the pitter pattering of rain. I stare out my window, trying to pass the thought of speaking to Peeta. Instead, I think of Gale and I's toasting and as if on cue, he appears in the doorway. I turn my head towards him and smile brightly. He seems to sigh of relief.

"I thought you were upset," he says, returning the smile. I shake my head as he lays next to me, wrapping his arms around my waist before he begins stroking my hair gently.

"No, I just have a bit of dread on the whole seeing Peeta thing," I admit.

"Don't," Gale replies. "You don't have to go today, but I thought it'd be nice to get it over with so we can focus more on our toasting. Besides, it's raining."