Unthinkable

Chapter 6~ The Episode

I awake in the middle of the night screaming deafeningly. I wait for Gale's arms to console me, but they fail to make an appearance. I'm sprawled out on the couch, dried up drool sitting on the corners of my mouth and sweat swarming me, causing my clothes to stick to my skin. I look around the house desperately to find Gale- sobbing as I do. When he's nowhere to be found, I know he's still in the woods. I feel a pang in my heart. I've hurt him so bad that he doesn't even want to come home. The thought of him dreading the sight of me makes me wonder if I shouldn't go to him. However, I'm too determined to see him. I need him.

I stand up and search for my jacket before realizing I must've left it at the bakery. So, I grab a different one and throw it on before before bursting out of the house, my boots still on from earlier. I'd been too lazy to remove them and had ended up falling asleep with them on. I feel my feet sink into the grass and realize how slippery it is. Freshly wet. I begin to think that Gale is maybe at Haymitch's. He wouldn't stay outside in the rain. But I continue to run towards the woods anyways.

I swerve onto the sidewalk of the empty street, my pace quickening as I become frightened by the night's silence. The dullness adds to my fright causing me to become unusually paranoid that something might jump out at me. The only lights provided are the dull streetlights that are scattered around the district at far distances from each other. I trip and fall over something- possibly my own feet. The pain isn't a priority though. It's nothing compared to the pain in my heart and I'll survive. With this on my mind, I stand back on my feet and continue to run, my scraped knee burning fiercely against the wind. When I get past the fence is when I see him and I slow down before stopping in front of him.

I'm still crying, silently. Gale sits with his knees pulled to his chest and his chin resting upon then. Like a predator approaching prey, I try to be as quiet as possible while sitting my self on the mushy grass. He does not seem to be hiding his tears. Every once in a while he'll choke out a loud sob among the quiet whimpering. He is soaked and shivering. I know immediately that this was a bad idea. I have absolutely no clue what to say. And all at once it hurts more than I've ever hurt. There's nothing worse than the pain you receive after making a person cry. This is a moment when loving Gale is a disadvantage because I actually care that he is upset. So what do I do? I stay. Not necessarily because I want to. For some weird reason, there's nothing more awkward for me than apologizing, but that doesn't matter. I have to stay. I know that he won't love me if I don't fight for this to workout. Leaving isn't an option.

"You're soaked and freezing," I exclaim, pointing out the obvious. He doesn't even glance at me, but I'm glad. I need time to prepare myself to see his heartbroken face. That's when I realize that the least I can do is comfort him. I curse at myself in my mind for coming out here and seeking comfort from Gale. He is the one who needs it and I will deliver it to him no matter how strange it feels because I was the one who hurt him in the first place. So, I remove my jacket and wrap it around his trembling body and then proceed to rub his back.

"That probably doesn't help much," I shrug, seeing how it only covers half of his back. That's when he unexpectedly looks up at me and thanks me. I manage a small smile. I know that already he's treating me too well for my deservings. If I were him, I'd hold a grudge on what happened and wouldn't speak to him for a month, but he's already saying something. Even though it's small, it's better than nothing.

"I can't get that image of you two kissing out of my mind," he sighs, shaking his head disapprovingly. My heart sinks, falling with my face. This comment burns and he knows that. Who wouldn't feel bad? All he's been thinking of for hours is a bad thought of his lover. Enduring pain and suffering with it alone. While feeling horrible for him, I zone out, staring out at the woods feeling his beautiful grey eyes bore into the side of my face as he devises up what to say next. He snaps me back to reality when his deep voice suddenly strikes the air. I gasp and turn my head towards him, my full attention shifting to what he has to say next.