desolation (phan)

nine

"Uncle Danny!"

Dan's face morphed into a toothy grin at the sound of his nieces as he walked into the door. The two girls hugged his legs and he looked up to see his brother-in-law, Jaxton.

"Jax," Dan greeted, pulling him into a hug, pulling off and patting his back.

"How've you been? You okay?" Jax furrowed his eyebrows, analyzing Dan's face, almost as if to get an unspoken answer.

Dan just shrugged and went back to playing with the girls. He couldn't help but notice how tense his sister and her husband were, already knowing that she had told him what happened.

Dan zoned out for a second as the girls leaped around him, pondering. Pondering and trying to guess where Phil was, once again. It was a fucking repeat, a full circle, a 360 loop, and here Dan was right back at square one. Where did Phil go? Who was he?

What was he?

"Dan? I'll show you to the guest room."

His thoughts were cut short at the voice of his timid sibling, her hand light on his shoulder.

Dan followed quietly, bags heavy in his grip. He set his things down by the bed, a wooden headboard and beige sheets on display. The room was plain, obviously never used.

His sister left to leave, but stopped in the doorway to look over at him. "Dan?"

"Hm?" He hummed, still taking in the room.

"I'm glad you're back."

Dan made eye contact with Delilah, a sad smile on his chapped lips. "Me too."

Dan didn't know if he meant it.

☈

Dan awoke with a stir, not realizing he had fallen asleep. He was still in full clothing, bags unpacked and the sun now in hiding. It was night, an unknown time, and Dan got up groggily.

He moved quietly, walking through the hall and seeing all doors closed. He found a clock, reading it was 11 pm- just four hours till Phil ran the other night. He felt his throat lodge and pushed on through, finding himself in the kitchen and seeing a plate of leftover pasta on the counter.

He spotted a note by it and picked it up. You slept through dinner. Please eat when you find this - D.

He grinned at the kindness of his sister, setting the food in the oven to heat it. He hummed a tune as he paced around the house, going by the window to go through vinyl records. It was so quiet, the household deep in their sleep except Dan. The only light in the house was the kitchen overhead, and the moonlight peeking through the curtains.

He looked up from the records and froze.

Phil.

Just outside the window, in the raven black of the night, was stood a raven-haired boy: Phil. He was in the yard, in the same clothes he was in when he ran. When he ran away.

Dan screamed, backing away into the barstools of the kitchen. He heard a bedroom door swing open, and his brother-in-law came into view with sleepy but wide eyes.

"What? Dan, what is it?"

Delilah appeared behind her husband, eyes filled with concern for her vulnerable brother. Dan's big eyes locked with Jax's, before turning back to the window, finding Phil was no longer there.

"I - . . ." Dan started, eyes watering. He didn't even really know why, he was so overwhelmed and the voices swarmed his head like a nest of angry bees. Everything was so loud. "I -" he couldn't think. He couldn't find something to say that would make him sound any less insane. It was inevitable. It was bad. It was all bad.

"Did you see him, Daniel?"

His full name ran off her tongue, a hard smash to his heart. It gave him flashbacks to when he was a kid, when he'd tell his parents he was seeing monsters and they'd always coax him with his full name. Never the nickname: Dan.

Apparently this was seeing another monster. But much worse.

Dan was about to speak, but the rest of the family came down the stairs- his two favorite nieces appeared behind their parents, clinging to their mother's clothing in fear. Fear. Dan attracted terror, that's all he ever did. That's all he ever did. He scared his parents with talk, he scared his sister with talk, he scared himself. He was a walking nightmare. Like dreaming in California, the uncertainty of a earthquake always lingering.

"I cannot stay here," Dan whimpered. He was so tired of scaring people away. And they were a good family, a good stable family full of lovely, deserving people. "I cannot."

"Maybe you should-"

"I am not going back there." Dan growled sternly, tears still pricking at his bloodshot eyes. They had already sent him there, sent him to a place for a crazy people. Just for a few weeks, but it felt like months. He couldn't do it. He wasn't crazy. He couldn't be- not again.

"If he wants to leave, let him leave, Delilah," Jax tells his wife. He understands Dan, it's obvious. Understands that there is only scarce darkness, only the breath of a demon in the back of everyone's minds.

Dan hugged his two nieces and they hugged him just as tightly. "I'm sorry. I'll get better."

They just gazed up at him as he scurried up to the guest room, packing his things. He patted Jax on the shoulder after leaving the room, finding him tense and full of sympathy. Everyone always felt sorry for him.

Once out of the house, his sister led him to her car and they drove back to his home in silence. When they got there, he walked inside and to his bedroom, beginning to unpack his things.

His sister stood in the doorway, silent tears tiptoeing down her cheeks as she sniffled. She watched him as he finished packing, and once done, she goes under his chin to wrap him in a hug.

"It's not your fault. None of this is."

Dan just sadly smiled, admiring a somber Delilah before taking in a breath and brushing past her. She stayed in the room, he could feel his eyes on her, but there was no turning back. No turning back. He was getting his answers now.

He led her out and she gave him one last look of worry.

Once alone, he picked up his phone, dialing someone he didn't know he could trust, but had to. There were no choices now, only force. Only distress.

He hears the phone ring and then a feminine voice replaces it.

"Dan?"

"Detective Ramos? I have something to tell you."