Big Girls Are Beautiful Too

ch:14

Unique

Me a whole being up taking a nap and when we woke up we head over 62 missed calls 49 text messages and 13 voicemails and when I looked at who called me it was Chris I didn't want to talk to him because he played me he played me like a fool and I believe every word he said I'm his mouth because I was desperate to hear it I never heard it before it's crazy that I still have these feelings for him. I still want to be with him but I can't he play with my heart and I let him I should have kept my heart to myself I knew better than to love it never works out for me every time I think that I'm happy something happens they always use me if it's not for bed just to prove a point that I'm stupid I will fall I love you easy

I can't believe I thought that he was the one I thought they made me he was different from all the other numbers didn't care that he was rich I just can't buy his personality and how he treated me I can't believe you did that to me and I'm sitting here broken and crying over
A nigger I shouldn't be crying over

We decided to listen to the voice mails and read the text messages they want to know where we was at as I was reading the text messages he was telling me that that he was looking all around the school for me but he didn't see me did I leave he got back soon and I was going to put my phone back down he called a part of me say don't answer the other parts of a answer so I answered to see what he was saying and what did he have to say for him self for playing me like that

Me: what do you want what do you have to say for yourself I overheard you talking to your best friend that you made a bet on me how could you do that I trusted you, you know my story you know how many people left me how much it hurted me I gave you a chance against my better judgment I thought you was different but you wasn't you was like the rest you playing me along and I'll let you it hurts so much all those words that you told me was a lie everything out your mouth was the lie to me you played me you played me hard and I was stupid enough to fall in love it's crazy I wasn't planning on falling in love but love have no warning it just comes it's no time nor date that love comes she just do and I sat there and let you tell me these words and I want to hear them so bad that I believe every word that you told me I have very low self-esteem I can't look in the mirror at myself without thinking that I look disgusting my mom and my grandma and my best friend told me that I was beautiful and I was trying to believe every word that they was saying to me and then you came along telling me I was beautiful too I didn't want to believe it because look at me a girl like me could never have a guy like you I knew it was to good to be true you like a fairytale to me and I knew better but I just wanted somebody other than my family to tell me I was beautiful beside my best friend cuz she like a sister to me I didn't care about your status how much money you have or anyting I care about who you truly was but apparently you didn't care about who I was because I have feelings just like you and everyone else but you can't seem to see that because you played me instead of thinking that's girl got feelings let me not do that but you did anyway you didn't care who it was going to hurt I don't want to hear your lies don't want to hear you apologies because you're not sorry but I'm sorry I'm sorry that I let you in I'm sorry that I gave you the time of day I'm sorry that I wasn't good enough for you I'm sorry for being who I am lose my number forget about me because I'm through with you"

I hung up the phone before he could say anything and block his number I'm so done with boys no more boys for me I'm straight focused on school and when I graduate I'm moving away to college without looking back the funny thing is I will still have my best friend because me and her going to the same College