Ben tossed and turned in his head. An idea kept bouncing around. He could just end it. Right there. He could save Rey the pain of seeing his murderous eyes whenever they stared at each other. The Council wouldn't be so concerned with destroying her and her trust in him. His lightsaber was so close... if only he could turn it on...
His arm instinctively reached up for it. He ignited the blade, and the red glowed with the brilliance of two million stars. It hummed, teasing him; his eyes were enchanted and his grip hardened. Ben closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Do it. Right now. Save her.
"Ben! What the hell are you doing? You're going to set the house on fire!" Rey swatted his hand, switching it off.
"I don't know." He said plainly.
Rey held her head in her hands. She was aware of his thoughts, but never acted upon them, fearing the worst. Ben had felt guilty following the death of their daughter and it clouded his judgement. He was quick to assume everyone had an undermining motive or that someone was lying to him all the time. It pained Rey to see him like this.
"You can't- You just can't kill yourself, Ben. You think you're the only one struggling with Freja?" Rey bursted out. Her voice was trembling with the delicateness of a glass flower. Ben looked up at Rey from his face-down position with a bitter tone.
"You didn't watch her die in front of you. You didn't watch her die and do nothing about it. You weren't there." He snapped.
"And you weren't there when she was born or when she was asking about her father. Do you know what I had to tell her? I had to tell her how much of a monster he was. She was scared to death for days!" Rey retorted. She wasn't going to fight with Ben at this hour.
They both took a deep breath. Rey turned her back and walked out of the room, gripping Ben's lightsaber and taking it with her before he did something he'd regret forever. Ben sat up and fell backwards, laying on his back on his bed. All kinds of things stirred his head. He brushed his hair out of his face and sighed.
Ben fell asleep. His insomnia hadn't been good for him. His mind was like a dark prison. Kylo Ren chided him and taunted him with the power of the Dark side, saying that only if he were in charge, that he could kill Hux more gruesomely then what he did to Freja. It was so tempting. All Ben had to do was reach out and touch the tiniest part of the Dark to be consumed in it again. He was so close- just a tiny bit closer...
Kylo's glowering eyes burned through the latter's soul. He had a terrible grimace smeared on his face, one of almost pure satisfaction. Ben pulled his hand back and turned away.
"What am I doing? What's wrong with me?" He asked himself in a low whisper.
"N-No. there's nothing wrong. Stop hesitating. Your hesitation is why you didn't succeed at fulfilling Grandfather's legacy. I will not let you go down the same path- the path of an outcast and a disgrace." Kylo said through gritted teeth.
He was confused. Why wasn't Ben jumping for the power? The wealth? He'd rather live here? Surely not. What Dark Prince would want to live in Alderaan? I'm sorry, let me restate that- what person would want to live on the same planet that Leia ruled?
"We both know what you truly want," Kylo taunted, pursing his lips. "You want- WE want to see Hux put six feet underground or even burned to ashes. It doesn't matter if he's Supreme Leader, what's he going to do? Throw a shoe? Kill him, you'll be satisfied. You won't want to kill yourself."
Ben shook his head. It wasn't worth going through all that trouble. He had just almost won the Council over. They were already so hesitant about his crimes, not to mention, it took forever to clean up the rest of the First Order after he left. And he might lose Rey in the process, as well.
Ben turned around, his jaw dropping. Kylo drove his lightsaber through him, blood spilling out and staining his clothes. Kylo shoved it farther, scrunching his brow with all determination to get rid of the wall blocking him from full potential again.
He kicked him away, realizing that might've not been the best choice. His wound stung. As he lay on the floor, his vision blackened, with a blurry image of Kylo Ren and his dripping lightsaber.
Ben shot awake, struggling to breathe and afraid to look down. He was coughing, loudly enough for Rey to hear in the next room. She came rushing in, her eyes wide with fear. She hurried to his side, holding him and patting his back. His eyes were watering and falling down his cheek onto the floor. He felt around where he'd been impales but felt no markings, only a mental scar of the pain he'd felt in those lonely moments.
"I felt it too." Rey whispered, holding him closer then ever before.
In response, Ben held her as well. The couple say together on the floor of his bedroom in serene silence as the sun dawned over and though his window.
~
In these quiet hours, people were either going home for good rest or waking up to get started on their day. Rey had fallen asleep, so of course, Ben picked her up and tucked her away so she could relax and regain her energy. He grabbed a cloak and put on his leather boots and walked outside.
The wind carried his hair all about the way, making a mental note to get it trimmed. As he walked into the gated cemetery, Ben was met with Kylo Ren. He looked around. There wasn't anyone else here. How surprising of him to want to come here- where Leia was resting for eternity. Ben took a deep breath a walked past him.
"Why are you so determined to keep yourself hidden from true power?" Kylo asked, taking a step closer to where Ben was kneeling. "It's not like it's different from what you've known your whole life."
"I am not going to corrupt myself again just for the sole purpose of killing someone." Ben replied, keeping his head down and his eyes focused. He read the markings on the grave over and over again.
"You need someone to show you the better side. You haven't seen the true beauty that this power can bring you, weakling." Kylo jeered.
"There's. No. Point. Leave me be." Ben dismissed him, and Ren dispersed among the fog. Now there was complete silence. There were no howls of the wind or sweeping of leaves- just peace. And balance.
YOU ARE READING
Bloodsport
FanfictionIt's been six years since the events of TLJ. Leia died. Rey had given birth to a girl. The Order is no longer and peace is restored in the Galaxy. Hux and Phasma, along with many Troopers, were sentenced to life in a high-security prison for their c...