Why Do You Make It So Hard? [COMPLETED]

I Can't Do This? Part 2

It's 2015 and Jungkook has noticed that Jimin doesn't seem to play along with his jokes much anymore.  He laughs but Jungkook feels a distance between him and Jimin and he's not sure why.  Ever since he found out that Jimin had feelings more than what he himself had it has been difficult for both of them but what was Jungkook to do?  He just didn't know how to feel about Jimin's confession but what really bothered him was Jimin's distance.

One day when it was just Jungkook and Jimin in the rehearsal studio, Jungkook decided to ask Jimin what was wrong.

"Hyung, I'm trying to understand what happened between us.  We used to have so much fun and tease each other but now it's different.  Why?"

Jimin was reading notes for an upcoming photoshoot and interview.  He put down his papers with sigh and said, "Jungkook, I told you I was having some feelings for you and all you did was just walk away from me.  How do you think it made me feel?"

"Jiminie I don't know.  I didn't know what to think.  I still don't know what to think.  Why don't you tell me what I should think?"

"I can't tell you that and you know it.  I can tell you I felt hurt that you couldn't even respond to what I said.  Your response was to turn and walk away.  You know what?  I really can't do this.  It hurts too much.  Tell me how you feel when you are rejected. Then maybe you'll understand."  Jimin gets up and walks out the rehearsal room leaving Jungkook alone, hurt and even more confused.

Over the next couple months the distance and the sense of hurt feelings begins to bother Jungkook.  He begins to feel what Jimin must have felt when he walked away...rejected.  It hurts.  Jimin rarely talks to him except when important to the group, he rarely plays games with him.  Jimin just isn't around anymore.  Jungkook could always make Jimin laugh and now he wasn't around to make laugh.  They played games together.  They hungout and did things together and Jimin wasn't there anymore to do those things.  Jungkook felt alone.  He had Tae but he still felt alone. Sure he has the company of RM, Suga, JHope,  and Jin but it was different with Jimin.  Plus the others are working on projects.  RM is working on a MixTape and Suga has been working on solo projects.  So the others haven't been around much. It's Jimin's company though that Jungkook really missed.  Taehyung has been a great friend and someone who listens to him when he needs to talk and he asks for advice.

"TaeTae, do you have a few minutes?"

"Sure Jungkook.  What's up?"

"Well, Jimin and I aren't talking much with each other.  We hardly talk at all and I don't know what to do because I really miss him not being around.  Not having fun, teasing, and playing around with him. Not practicing songs and dances together.  He doesn't seem to have time for me when I ask if he wants to play games.  He says he'd just rather read a book.  I don't get it and I miss him even though I know he's right here."

"Well Jungkook didn't you two have a talk not long ago?"

"Yeah, I tried to.  He told me he felt hurt because I rejected his feelings.  Tae, I don't know what to think about that.  He's asking me if I have feelings for him more than just my brother and I just don't know.  I've never felt that way about anybody so I don't know what it feels like or if that's what I'm feeling now.  I've liked girls and I've dated girls but I never dated them for long and I never told one I loved them.  This is different.  This is my hyung, I'm not supposed to be interested in or in love with my hyung."

"Jungkook we don't always have control over who we find attractive or who we fall in love with but if you think you are beginning to have feelings for Jimin you need to think hard about it because he couldn't take two rejections.  Do you think you are having feelings for him now that he's rejected you?"

"I don't know Tae.  I feel something but I don't know how to go about it."

"Well think about what Jimin means to you.  Think about the things he has done for you and why he did them for you.  How does your heart feel when you are around him?  I've seen how you act around him since he doesn't seem to pay you much attention.  It's like it hurts you he doesn't and you are doing things to get his attention.  That must mean something.  Explore that.  When you've figured it out then sit him down and talk to him again and try to figure out whether it's just dongsaeng or boyfriends you'll be and try to work it out with him.  He still loves you I know that.  JHope and I have been there the nights he's cried about you."

"He's cried about me!" Jungkook says shocked.

"Yes.  He doesn't know why he is in love with you but he is and it hurts him tremendously to be so near you but not have that shared.  He believes in his heart of hearts you just haven't figured yourself out yet and when you do then he will be there but he is hurt."

"Thank you, Tae.  I'll think about it.  It's just so hard.  This wasn't what I was expecting.  Why does growing up have to be so hard?"

"No prob bro, I'm always here for you.  You know Jungkook you'd be the luckiest hyung in this dorm to land a catch like Jimin.  He is a very special person to us all but to be the one he truly loves is to be the "golden" one in this group."

Jungkook spent a lot of time thinking about what Jimin meant to him.  He knew this was uncharted territory for him.  He thought love involved a man and a woman, he never thought it could be possible for him to find a male attractive and worth his love.  That's dangerous territory.  It's not acceptable but is that what was happening?  Was Jungkook developing feelings for Jimin? Especially now that Jimin was not paying any attention to him?  He found him a beautiful person physically and emotionally. He knew he would do anything for his hyung...anything.  He was honestly the most friendly, caring, loving person he had ever met and wondered how could someone like Park Jimin exist?  Did this all mean he loved him?  Then Jungkook thought about how Jimin made his heart feel and that's when the siren's went off.  Everytime Jungkook was in Jimin's presence it seemed like his heart wanted to jump out of his chest.  He felt almost panicky.  Like he couldn't breath either.  Is that what Tae meant?  Then he thought about how he felt when Jimin wasn't around and he discovered he felt lonely and sad.  Then he thought about Jimin's rejection of him and he hurt.  He hurt bad.  In his small room Jungkook hung his head and cried.  He wanted Jimin but his emotions were so confusing and overwhelming.

The next day he decided to see what JHope would have to say since he and Jimin were roommates.

"Hobi-hyung, do you have some time?"

"Sure Kookie, what can I help you with?"

"Well I've spent a lot of time thinking about this and it's really difficult to talk about but it's about Jimin."

"Aaah, I wondered when you were going to come to your senses."

"What's that mean?" Jungkook said.

"Well we all knew that Jimin had a crush on you and I knew he was in love with you but you rejected him and it damn near killed him.  I told him he had to give you time because you were so young and hadn't figured your true self out yet.  He understood that but it hurt him a lot to be pushed away.  Now I see you trying to get his attention and he's ignoring you. Sort of the shoes on the other foot now."  said JHope as he stuffs rice cookies in his mouth like popcorn.

"Yeah hyung.  I did talk to him about it once and he said he was hurt by my rejection and to understand how he felt I had to feel what it was like to be rejected.  Well I feel it and it hurts like hell.  I don't want to feel like this.  I want him back.  I miss him.  I think I undertand how he feels because I think I feel that way too.  I just was never expecting that the first person I fall in love with would be my hyung."

"Life is kind of funny like that don't you think?  We don't always understand why things happen the way the do but sometimes its just best not to question it." Munching on more cookies.

"Hobi-hyung, how do I get him to talk to me again? What do I do?"

"I can't help you there.  You'll have to figure out the best way to approach him with it.  He's still hurt so you can't play around with this.  If you feel what you feel then be direct about it but make sure you really have feelings because he can't do this twice.

"Yeah, that's what Tae said.  Thanks hyung."

Jungkook would reflect on his conversations with his hyung.  He didn't want to make anymore mistakes when it came to Jimin.  He wanted to do this right...for Jimin.